I fail


the end

Ash Wednesday

Lent begins today and runs until Holy Saturday.
I find such holidays intriguing.
What to sacrifice this lent season?
The timing of this Catholic ritual is particularly attractive, seeing how I have been desiring experiments with the potential to better self.
While I do believe people rarely are capable of achieving genuine change, it is the allure of discovery which entices me.
The ever-illusive hypnagogic state is within my grasp, adieu.

*edit
I noticed this while scouring the internet for others beliefs, feelings, and opinions regarding lent. This statement grabbed my attention because I have always accepted Lent to be a time of scarifice and self restraint, not so much as a time for initiating new habits; truly bettering self.

"There's also the option of taking something on, maybe developing a good habit of doing something you don't do now that just requires a little time every day: stretching in the morning, sending a "thinking of you" message to people you've been out of touch with, cleaning out that ___ you've been avoiding."

"You should give up something you'll miss: television, your morning mocha, porn, whatever. The purpose of Lenten sacrifice is to bring one closer to God by identifying with Christ's suffering on the Cross. The difficulty of caffeine withdrawl, frustration at missing the next month of Lost, etc. should bring to mind Jesus' sacrifice; out of that, one should engage in prayer and reflection on the meaning of that sacrifice, that He died for our sins..

The Christian purpose of Lent isn't self-improvement, but improvement of one's relationship with God: take the money intended for that coffee and donate it to charity; spend your scheduled TV-/porn-watching time in prayer and meditation. Sacrifice that money, that time, that pleasure, and in doing so, reflect."

Both interesting. Bettering one's self via self denial/restraint. I do enjoy such processes. 40 days of Lent begins.

billet-doux

Cobain to the head, van Gogh to the ear, Thích Quảng Đức consumed.

Lost in the snow

Friday originally was intended for studying.
Sleep a few hours late, wake up around 9 and hit the books.
Upon waking, I remember the abundance of paperwork demanding completion.
2 C-Sections on thursday and a transfer patient from Central State on Tuesday makes for thorough dictation.
All that aside, the heavens opened and spewed from their bowels white gold.
I found myself lost within the woods encompassing my property.
Peaceful, tranquil, halcyon.
Winter Olympics Opening Ceremonies commence tonight.
Somehow I do not believe they will not bear comparison to the Summer games.
Cold cold cold, and still studying to be done

Miike Snow

How long has it been, shall we get intimate again?
Excuse, our disgrace we've had no time to paint the place
The dog is always barking at the mailman

I won't waste your time with my revelation
Hello my friend, I see you're back again
Hello mystery, don't bother to explain
How bout maybe, its all been in my head
Hey well I'm tired of this black & blue, black & blue

My dear, come again, your voice is fading out and in
Out of the laundry bin, I found my innocence again
The dog is always barking at the mailman

I won't waste your time with my revelation
Hello my friend, I see you're back again
Hello mystery, don't bother to explain
How bout maybe, its all been in my head
Hey well I'm tired of this black & blue, black & blue

Hello my friend, I see you're back again
Hello mystery, don't bother to explain
How bout maybe, its all been in my head
Hey well I'm tired of this black & blue, black & blue
-Miike Snow "Black and Blue"


Cancer is contagious, i still believe. there is yet to be a definitive link; however, research has been showing an increased correspondence between major infectious disease and resulting cancer. Of course smoking is a direct precursor for lung and throat cancer. The same for alcohol and liver cancer. We as Americans will never cure cancer. Why? Because there is a seemingly endless amount of money to be made in treating cancer. Patients are will to pay any price for medicines which may or may not alleviate their suffering; so why stop an infinite money supply? When was the last time a disease has been cured? I have not done the research, but I do imagine we have cured something in recent years, more than likely some minor illness. Big business and pharmaceutical companies are bringing in the money hand over foot, in larger sums than the degenerate Middle Eastern nations who rape our wallets every time we put gas into our cars. Granted the idiotic desires of Americans to drive the biggest and fastest vehicles doesn't really aid the situation or my argument. But still. The government and major pharmaceutical companies are lying in bed together, and if there is a cure for major illnesses they are only shared between bedmates. When will we elect officials who will take a stand against these forces? Or has the case become, the only way for someone to receive a position of power they have to sell their soul to these powerful entities? Regardless of the case, something has to change. American has become too ignorant and comfortable. We have no identity; a conglomerance, a mutt. we want to cater to everyone' feelings, beliefs, and desires. We need to forge a national identity, and not one in which we all dance in response to the master's pull of the strings.