Breathe.... Carolina!

I swear to god I won't stop, until, you're shakin

e
p
i
c

JB is

:)

Step 1

Busy busy busy with school
Hectic semester so far
However I am enjoying it thoroughly
I am currently involved with several clubs for my college
I am a member of MSCANS (Macon State College Association of Nursing Students) and I serve on the board as the Legislative Director. I also am a member of NSNA (National Student Nurses' Association), MSCANS is apart of NSNA. Since I am on the board I get to got to the state and national conventions for NSNA, and while there I get to be a delegate and do my thing in the political arena as we discuss/debate legislation we would like to see introduced on the National Congressional level.
I also am a member of the Student Governmental Body, representing my field of study. They call me a Senator, cool stuff.
But perhaps my most favorite is English Students Organization. no, not for english people, but the study of English and Literature. Sadly, their major study last year was Lolita, SADNESS. But once I heard that I knew I had to join, this year our major focus is Edgar Allen Poe. Joy. Bliss. Happiness.
Today was all day lecture for my nursing classes, as well as club day. Hectic yes. But I did enjoy walking from booth to booth with Melissa collecting all the free items, as well as chatting with people at my booth for MSCANS.
Off for the next two days, however I will be studying the majority of time. Multiple tests this upcoming week and I have to work the weekend.
Overall a great week. Had fun spending time with a few of my teachers outside of the classroom, yes I know I am a kiss-up, but how else would I be able to get away with the things I do in class :) But on the real, I do like to get to know my teachers and establish some form of a bond/teach-student relationship. It can only behoove me in the future.
Yesterday was the longest day of the semester. Clinicals at Central State hours away, then back in town to meet with my older adult for my older adult module/project, back to Macon campus for the MSCANS meeting, lasting the better part of 4 hours. And always the after-class paperwork and review. However, I do not have any complaints. I enjoyed every minute. This semester has made me happy, with everything. Good stuff, with only more to come. Off to study.

De là-haut

"maybe there's a god above, but all i ever learned from love was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you. its not a cry that you hear at night, its not somebody who's seen the light, its a cold and its a broken hallelujah."

AU

Had a great time out at the Aurbun game
Met some awesome folks
I still love Tebow and our Gators, but I would def accept the opportunity to go and see another game
Interesting night
I was able to observe people unwinding
Lawls
Dallas
Sleep is what occurs now

<3

Tim Tebow

Title

School has been going well. I am enjoying my courses and my classmates actually. The few guys in the program all initially appear genuine and non-homo. After the first 2 weeks I seem to be in pretty good standing with with everyone, meaning I fit in. Childish as it may seem it is something I value. I have always had a diminished view and opinion of myself. Especially upon entering middle school. I thoroughly enjoyed my elementary school days; life was good; I was the coolest kid on campus. I was smart, funny, and the fast white runner. Field day was by far my most valued and favorite day in the school year. For some reason at the age I was not aware of any faults I had. I was confident in my intellectual abilities, achieving success on the Focus Quiz Bowl and Logic teams; success in my popularity; well liked by my peers and educators; awkward situations were an unheard event. Something happened during the transition from 5th grade to 6th grade. Something more than just changing from an Elementary to a Middle school. They say a person who has dementia will never notice until their routine changes. Frequently I reminisce on such a period of transition in hopes of remembering an event which will divulge the information explaining what forced me to respond in such a manner. To this day I have no valid rationale. I only know I was not comfortable with my "self" during my middle school and high school days. I became aware at how bad my speaking skills were, and of course my hormone and stress-induced acne only weighed down upon me forcing me into a shell of isolation. I abandoned my God-given gifts of intelligence; forsaking all that had been granted to thine. My lack of self-confidence only hinder my ability to excel in sports. For some reason I was terrified of playing on the same team as my teammates. I assumed to be inferior to their ability levels, striving to earn some display of gratification from the coaching staff, only to find myself failing when my number was called. I sunk into a pit of isolation and despair. I had completely lost all faith in myself. Granted I would achieve minimal strides of regaining self-dignity, only to watch them vanish as I stuttered helplessly attempting to spit out a classical Josh retort, or stop to actually examine my appearance in the mirror. I cannot tell you the one event which eliminated these self-induced delusions. Oddly and ironically enough if was change which I had feared so intently which sprung a soul free from despair. I still do fear change, citing that no one ever changes, and the more we attempt to change the closer we return to who we actually are. I do believe change is a good event in life, and even to some extent a required one. I do enjoy my present collegiate days. I find myself successful. I no longer am afraid to go off alone: walking to class, arriving to my destination before others, sitting in the library; I actually find such events relaxing and self-defining. I find the fact that my fellow classmates are drawn to me, I no longer seek to fulfill friendships to define my self-worth. These people genuinely desire to be my friend, to seek my company. I couldn't care less about the females in my class wanting to be friends, it was the males who I was concerned with "fitting in." To my surprise we all gel in a jolly good fashion. I do not feel pressure to be funny, or do things to prove my place among them is warranted. I find myself being, well, myself. I find myself engaging in conversations with males and females, both without fear or second guessing. I no longer an anxious or nervous about beginning a conversation with one of my classmates, and I often find myself talking with someone new each class. No I am not ego maniac or self absorbed pompous ass nor a cocky frat boy. I happily discover myself talking to females whom I have had several classes with, but never spoke a word to. After our first big exam I was invited to go out to eat and have drinks, I politely denied their request, however it did make my day. I do find joy in the little things, and in my own success. Granted I do still believe I can improve as far as my physical appearance is concerned, and of course I do not love my smile, nor my skin, but for the most part they all are improving. I am respect by my peers and instructors and I am place importance on the work I am doing. I am able to stay happy. While yes there are aspects of the past which I do miss, some more dearly than others, I no longer let such memories dictate my moods. I have been a firm believer in not using medication to resolve feelings and such, and so far through my endeavors I have been successful. I used to always say I would never write about my joy or my happiness because it always seems to be taken away from me. But here it is, a post declaring my happiness, well, contentness sprinkled with joy and peace, lol.


mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
why does my m key attempt to break free from my keyboard? I do not like having to firmly press it into it's place
of all keys which receive wear, I would not expect the m key to show it first.
There are so many other letters which I use more frequently: j, o, c, p... lol