Friday, December 31, 2010
Leon
Keep my best friend in you mind, thoughts, and prayers, or whichever you prefer. He lost his biological father early this morning due to a massive heart attack. It was unexpected to say the least. He has been a phenomenal friend through countless ups and downs during my life. I love him as if he were another brother. I pray for strength and comfort for him and his family throughout this unbelievably difficult ordeal.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Theory 1
further my knowledge base one day at a time.
Or perhaps one book at a time, one page at a time.
I do enjoy learning. Not everything, just the things which I have interests in: well, ok, it is a wide range of areas; however, I find myself looking at the "gray" areas so to speak, those which are unclear to many and are simply brushed aside. I do enjoy them. These "off-limit" areas I find particularly intriguing, or better yet, I find people's opinions on the subject matter enticing.
Religion, yes religion: a system of thought, feeling, and action that is shared by a group and that gives the members an object of devotion. Whom is right, whom is wrong, yet, it somehow seems as it all religions, from the immensely popular to the renegade sect, share striking similarities. The initial reaction from the followers of such a religion is to immediately state they are a part of the one true religion while all others are farces. I find it baffling as to why the aforementioned sentiment is the popular course of action. Why not consider the possibly that these religions descend from the same source? People, much like cats, are curious by nature, the normal ones that is. People also like sex. Sex creates babies. Babies create a strain on resources. Strain equals stress and where there is stress there is plenty of uncomfortable family get-togethers. Eventually people spread out away from families to forge their own future, complete with all the grain they can consume. However, people are by nature adverse to change, once again the normal ones. So when they do move on to their own grain pastures, they attempt to hold on to aspects which remind them of "home." As I hope you can tell, the grain usage would point to my conversation pertaining to previous times, before thoughts and ideas were written down for instance. Stories, thoughts, beliefs, farming techniques, and religion all were passed on and preserved by the oral route, no not like that, but by telling them to children, family, and friends. But like any grandchild, the same stories told by grandpa tend to fall on def ears. But hey, kids these days know everything right? Oh, but when it comes time to actually put in to action all those dear necessities grandpa so desperately tried to bequeath, little Johnny finds himself with sudden amnesia. Oh what to do now, the mind races to come up with the proper response; that's it, make something up that seems to fit. God becomes Allah, Allah becomes Vishnu, Vishnu becomes Oya and so forth. But lo and behold, the innovation of writing things down; how revolutionary. And so these incorrect recollections are permanently transcribed forever dooming the peace of all mankind. That is basically my theory, one of them. Digest it, enjoy.
-by my, josh b
Or perhaps one book at a time, one page at a time.
I do enjoy learning. Not everything, just the things which I have interests in: well, ok, it is a wide range of areas; however, I find myself looking at the "gray" areas so to speak, those which are unclear to many and are simply brushed aside. I do enjoy them. These "off-limit" areas I find particularly intriguing, or better yet, I find people's opinions on the subject matter enticing.
Religion, yes religion: a system of thought, feeling, and action that is shared by a group and that gives the members an object of devotion. Whom is right, whom is wrong, yet, it somehow seems as it all religions, from the immensely popular to the renegade sect, share striking similarities. The initial reaction from the followers of such a religion is to immediately state they are a part of the one true religion while all others are farces. I find it baffling as to why the aforementioned sentiment is the popular course of action. Why not consider the possibly that these religions descend from the same source? People, much like cats, are curious by nature, the normal ones that is. People also like sex. Sex creates babies. Babies create a strain on resources. Strain equals stress and where there is stress there is plenty of uncomfortable family get-togethers. Eventually people spread out away from families to forge their own future, complete with all the grain they can consume. However, people are by nature adverse to change, once again the normal ones. So when they do move on to their own grain pastures, they attempt to hold on to aspects which remind them of "home." As I hope you can tell, the grain usage would point to my conversation pertaining to previous times, before thoughts and ideas were written down for instance. Stories, thoughts, beliefs, farming techniques, and religion all were passed on and preserved by the oral route, no not like that, but by telling them to children, family, and friends. But like any grandchild, the same stories told by grandpa tend to fall on def ears. But hey, kids these days know everything right? Oh, but when it comes time to actually put in to action all those dear necessities grandpa so desperately tried to bequeath, little Johnny finds himself with sudden amnesia. Oh what to do now, the mind races to come up with the proper response; that's it, make something up that seems to fit. God becomes Allah, Allah becomes Vishnu, Vishnu becomes Oya and so forth. But lo and behold, the innovation of writing things down; how revolutionary. And so these incorrect recollections are permanently transcribed forever dooming the peace of all mankind. That is basically my theory, one of them. Digest it, enjoy.
-by my, josh b
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Christmas twenty ten
Merry Christmas
I believe I will give the greatest gift of all, sharing a little bit of myself with my cherished readers, or perhaps it's just reader, seeing how I myself only count as one mere soul. Sorry, no gift receipts included.
Now normally this would be the part where I would allow readers to ask any question of me and I would graciously provide an honest answer. But then again, for those who know me in the least bit, how can anyone expect an honest glimpse into my inner-workings and deepest darkest secrets. Intriguing huh? Well, may be not.
I would really like a telescope. I enjoy space and looking at space; the stars in general. It's not even that I wonder what's out there, or even if there is life out there; I just enjoy looking at the stars and all that "stuff" out there. Of course I enjoy star trek and star wars and all that nerdy stuff, oh, I can't forget halo either. I find it relaxing, peaceful even. Overall, I find it cool.
I miss my skateboard. Me? Skateboarding? Yes, believe it. I had a skateboard during my highschool years, and I wasn't half bad either. Somewhere along the line I lost my skateboard. I believe I left it out in the rain, well, over at a friend's house and it was rained on. That was the story I was told, I think on of my friends took it, or may be it was a drunk joke gone wrong, or even possible a drunk joke that was forgotten in the morning. But I do miss it. Go out and buy one, yeah I know. I just haven't. I feel too old actually.
My mind is always racing, always thinking. I develop several theories throughout the day, most them occurring spontaneously. Most them concern medical events and their origins and subsequent treatment options. Others are about people and interactions, or the possible interaction. While I enjoy it, it makes falling asleep extremely difficult. I believe I will have to put on something since the melatonin is no longer working. Most nights I end up taking 9. Other times I take Benadryl and sleep for 12 hours. I hate it.
Random I know, but that's how I think when I try to calm down and go to sleep. I often reflect on previous events in my life. I have no regrets. If I could go back and do everything over I have no doubt that I would make the same choices and decisions, but if I could go back with the knowledge that I have now would I change anything? I'm sure I would act better as a child in public, and I would try to realize the bigger picture. I hate that as a child I embarrassed my parents in public. Aside from that I would not change anything. I am where I am today as a direct result from all the decisions I made throughout my life. All the pain, all the joy, all the sadness, all the accomplishments were worth it. Do get sad and lonely sometimes? Sure I do. But all of my relationships would have ended anyways, there were all great while they lasted (except for those last few months with Danielle, and all the psycho shit Christa did) and I am thankful for them all. Well, sort of. And I believe they all are better off now anyways, and if they aren't then I'm glad I got out while I could. I refuse to be what I mock. That is, I refuse to be an underachiever. I refuse to live poorly, blaming the man for all the bad in my life. I refuse to settle in regards to a spouse. I refuse to force "love." I refuse to become a whiskey tango (WT, or white trash). No, I'm too gifted for that life. Too smart. Too special. Too unique. I am certain I have the abilities to achieve success, to make an impact on others with the life I live. a good impact that is. May be not become President, or cure cancer, (granted I know I could run the greatest free nation and propel it to uncharted heights, and well cancer, hmmm, we'll see), but I do know I can make a difference on a somewhat larger scale than the vast majority.
I would like to go to med school, and I would like to enter the political arena, I would love to go into space, hell, may be even be a clinical nurse researcher in space. That would be the bees knees yo. Of course I would also enjoy psychology, literature, social studies, event sports healthcare, like traveling with a team and all. But, I would be more than happy to stay in this little town, doing whatever it is I decide on. I still haven't been able to figure out why it upset you the way it did when I said I was simple. I find myself often thinking about that. I could go into great detail explaining the various theories I have and the merit each of them have, but i never tell my secrets. I'm pretty sure you were buzzing to some extent during that conversation, and that's where I cease my obsessing. lol, buzzing, see what I did there? witty i kno.
But there en lies the problem. I tend to reflect far too often, and since I obsess with most other areas of life, I obsess with random memories. It's the psychological aspect I find enticing. The motives behind peoples actions. If you understand why people make the decisions they make, then you can predict their actions.
I feel bad for not talking to Ross since this summer. Almost as if he was an innocent bystander of the whole thing. I assumed he just didn't want to be friends or have anything to do with me. Not because I was rude or mean to him, but just because of the way I acted. And i wouldn't blame him. But he is a good friend, a dear good friend. I hate that I haven't been able to hang out with him when he has requested this winter holiday. I do hope work and practice will no longer interfere.
Season Tickets to the Braves, now that would be awesome
Time for sleep? I do hope so.
Happy Holidays
I believe I will give the greatest gift of all, sharing a little bit of myself with my cherished readers, or perhaps it's just reader, seeing how I myself only count as one mere soul. Sorry, no gift receipts included.
Now normally this would be the part where I would allow readers to ask any question of me and I would graciously provide an honest answer. But then again, for those who know me in the least bit, how can anyone expect an honest glimpse into my inner-workings and deepest darkest secrets. Intriguing huh? Well, may be not.
I would really like a telescope. I enjoy space and looking at space; the stars in general. It's not even that I wonder what's out there, or even if there is life out there; I just enjoy looking at the stars and all that "stuff" out there. Of course I enjoy star trek and star wars and all that nerdy stuff, oh, I can't forget halo either. I find it relaxing, peaceful even. Overall, I find it cool.
I miss my skateboard. Me? Skateboarding? Yes, believe it. I had a skateboard during my highschool years, and I wasn't half bad either. Somewhere along the line I lost my skateboard. I believe I left it out in the rain, well, over at a friend's house and it was rained on. That was the story I was told, I think on of my friends took it, or may be it was a drunk joke gone wrong, or even possible a drunk joke that was forgotten in the morning. But I do miss it. Go out and buy one, yeah I know. I just haven't. I feel too old actually.
My mind is always racing, always thinking. I develop several theories throughout the day, most them occurring spontaneously. Most them concern medical events and their origins and subsequent treatment options. Others are about people and interactions, or the possible interaction. While I enjoy it, it makes falling asleep extremely difficult. I believe I will have to put on something since the melatonin is no longer working. Most nights I end up taking 9. Other times I take Benadryl and sleep for 12 hours. I hate it.
Random I know, but that's how I think when I try to calm down and go to sleep. I often reflect on previous events in my life. I have no regrets. If I could go back and do everything over I have no doubt that I would make the same choices and decisions, but if I could go back with the knowledge that I have now would I change anything? I'm sure I would act better as a child in public, and I would try to realize the bigger picture. I hate that as a child I embarrassed my parents in public. Aside from that I would not change anything. I am where I am today as a direct result from all the decisions I made throughout my life. All the pain, all the joy, all the sadness, all the accomplishments were worth it. Do get sad and lonely sometimes? Sure I do. But all of my relationships would have ended anyways, there were all great while they lasted (except for those last few months with Danielle, and all the psycho shit Christa did) and I am thankful for them all. Well, sort of. And I believe they all are better off now anyways, and if they aren't then I'm glad I got out while I could. I refuse to be what I mock. That is, I refuse to be an underachiever. I refuse to live poorly, blaming the man for all the bad in my life. I refuse to settle in regards to a spouse. I refuse to force "love." I refuse to become a whiskey tango (WT, or white trash). No, I'm too gifted for that life. Too smart. Too special. Too unique. I am certain I have the abilities to achieve success, to make an impact on others with the life I live. a good impact that is. May be not become President, or cure cancer, (granted I know I could run the greatest free nation and propel it to uncharted heights, and well cancer, hmmm, we'll see), but I do know I can make a difference on a somewhat larger scale than the vast majority.
I would like to go to med school, and I would like to enter the political arena, I would love to go into space, hell, may be even be a clinical nurse researcher in space. That would be the bees knees yo. Of course I would also enjoy psychology, literature, social studies, event sports healthcare, like traveling with a team and all. But, I would be more than happy to stay in this little town, doing whatever it is I decide on. I still haven't been able to figure out why it upset you the way it did when I said I was simple. I find myself often thinking about that. I could go into great detail explaining the various theories I have and the merit each of them have, but i never tell my secrets. I'm pretty sure you were buzzing to some extent during that conversation, and that's where I cease my obsessing. lol, buzzing, see what I did there? witty i kno.
But there en lies the problem. I tend to reflect far too often, and since I obsess with most other areas of life, I obsess with random memories. It's the psychological aspect I find enticing. The motives behind peoples actions. If you understand why people make the decisions they make, then you can predict their actions.
I feel bad for not talking to Ross since this summer. Almost as if he was an innocent bystander of the whole thing. I assumed he just didn't want to be friends or have anything to do with me. Not because I was rude or mean to him, but just because of the way I acted. And i wouldn't blame him. But he is a good friend, a dear good friend. I hate that I haven't been able to hang out with him when he has requested this winter holiday. I do hope work and practice will no longer interfere.
Season Tickets to the Braves, now that would be awesome
Time for sleep? I do hope so.
Happy Holidays
Friday, December 24, 2010
tingle tingle, jingle jingle
I have come to the conclusion as follows: facebook is worthless, granted staying "connected" with every is "cool" and whatnot; however, I just find people annoying. Yes yes I know, then why did I accept their friend requests, or, it sure says volumes about you in regards to how all your friends on facebook despise you poor bastard. I do enjoy keeping tabs on everyone, in part because I enjoy observing how people decide to display themselves to others via this social network, and I am friends with several people just for this benefit; of course being friend with Kelli Twigg is one enormous visual benefit, that should go without saying. The overwhelming majority of my friends I do not vocally (or textually) converse with on a daily or evenly monthly basis. As in actual social interactions, I find myself filled with awkward sensations when attempting to create a new "status update." Should I say something meaningful? No, I don't want all these pseudofriends receiving access to my personal thoughts, emotions, and feelings. Those are sacred nuggets granted to only those whom I deem worthy, which, sadly, are few and far between. Perhaps I could post something funny and indicative of my charming whit! Wait, no; most of my humor is trapped within the mind of a teenager forever giggling over fart jokes and the word boobs. If my humor is not rooted in elementary school bathroom jokes, it is constantly saturated with allusions to comicbook superheros, nerdy one liners, and when all else fails, "that's what she said" or my favorite, "no u." I have have found that such post only further alienate me from my facebook friends. Many people simply do not get my simple jokes, which cause me to refrain from future witty delights. May be I should tell others about my day, or better yet express my plans for upcoming days! No, that won't do;
more forthcoming, the sleep pills are making their presence felt rather intensely this evening. ah yes, quite good, quite good indeed
I shall fall asleep listening to Dr House solve one of his many puzzles, or perhaps listening to the epic adventures of a hobbit and a mystical ring, oh Aragorn, epic is your middle name, along with bad-ass.
Shit, sleep overwhelms me, much as your presence super saturates my senses as you skillfully maneuver throughout the environment, allthewhile concealing your ever so beautiful existence, yeah something like that must sound profound, which means it must have meaning.
miserable men make most minute memories momentous
no u
more forthcoming, the sleep pills are making their presence felt rather intensely this evening. ah yes, quite good, quite good indeed
I shall fall asleep listening to Dr House solve one of his many puzzles, or perhaps listening to the epic adventures of a hobbit and a mystical ring, oh Aragorn, epic is your middle name, along with bad-ass.
Shit, sleep overwhelms me, much as your presence super saturates my senses as you skillfully maneuver throughout the environment, allthewhile concealing your ever so beautiful existence, yeah something like that must sound profound, which means it must have meaning.
miserable men make most minute memories momentous
no u
Saturday, December 18, 2010
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