Am I______?

no, i am not.
I'm just Josh.

A Rectal Finish

Be one of the first 500 callers and shipping your shipping is free! Call now.
Bleh, ship me anywhere, take what you want from what little is left
I have no desire to lose anymore of myself to anyone
Things can change in the blink of an eye
So I find myself constantly blinking as if I am a good friend of mine, or I have some neurological issue with my autonomic system
SEE spot run
AYE bay bay
EYE to eye
TEE time
EL grande
EYE for an eye
IN the end
a rectal finish
don't take it for face value
equivalent is greater than three
Working 80 hours plus while taking 15 hrs of classes
Still finding time to workout and run
Some say running is a release
I do not agree
I can not say why I run multiple times per week
It is not for the peace of mind nor the quick time
It is not used a valve to release pressure
I am chasing something when I run, not trying to elude something
When I box I do not see my opponents faces
They all look the same
The exact image which is burned upon the insides of my eyelids
Cut me open and what spills out put in a line
Examine the interior carcass and you will discover what drives me, what makes me tick, what pushes me beyond my extremes, what is my moby dick
No emotion, no soft side, just my inner demons
They lay repressed as Zeus has imprisoned the titans
No man alive has witness struggles I survive
not quite to that extreme
But open me up and you will discover for yourself
No I do not have the key for I have cast it down into the fiery pit of Mordor
There is but one sole remaining key
And is why I chase my Moby Dick

Posting

Monday morning and it's time for a blog, having no subjects nor topics to fervently rant over I will simply just be "typing." The weather this morning was downcast, grey and dreary at best. The light mist gave the air a refreshing cool and moist sensation. Not too cold and not too wet. If it hadn't been for the heavy gathering of clouds one might conclude it to be a nice morning. I awoke to a unique sensation in my both of my hamstrings; soreness. For I successfully ran 3 continuous miles last night with a dear friend. While out time was equivalent to our aspirations, the completion of this feat was a victory both of us would accept. We great hesitation I made my way out of the bed and was in agony as the warm blankets were removed exposing my skin. The cool air sensation felt was not one of pleasure nor one of joy; everything within myself begged and pleaded their cases for me to remain in the warm comforts of the friendly bed. One glace towards the clock however urged me to act with haste. A shower was need, along with the gathering of school supplies and work supplies for I was doomed to a shift immediately after 4 hours of class sessions. A soft spot had been revealed in thine heart when looking upon the work schedule a need for Monday afternoon was noted. The response from my superior was exactly what I expected, however a simple "good" created a warm emotion of elation at the recognition, which is all one strives and aspires for; the higher amount on the paycheck also does the heart good.

eh, time for lecture.

good start ja?

Vindaloo Curry

So, which is it?
-Our relationship is like an addiction, it's like...
Really good drugs?
-No, it's like, Vindaloo curry
Ok, sure
-It's a really really hot Indian curry the make with red chili peppers...
I know what it is. I didn't think it was addictive.
-You're abrasive and annoying and come in way to strong like, vindaloo curry. When you're crazy about curry that's fine, no matter how much you love curry, you eat too much of it and it takes the roof of your mouth off, and then you never want to see curry for a really really long time. But you wake up one day and you think, God, I really miss curry



Dialogue, at its best

Words fail

This swirling sensation is profound where sense is not found
Decisions decided in uncertainty certainly decide those who die
One by one we run from the one we shun

Subarctic

Dear God, it was 18 degrees this morning. I had to run out in my bathrobe after my shower and crank the vehicle up. I really detest the bitter and harsh cold. In hindsight maybe I should of signed up for later classes. The early morning starts aids in fighting off laziness, which seems to become all too easily abundant. Sad to say the person who sits next to me is absent from class, I am leaning towards tardy, however as the minuets pass I gradually begin to accept she is absent. But who am I kidding, I prefer my seclusion, my peace, my sanctuary. I always this guy sitting to my right, whom I have exchanged a total of zero words in four classes. From what I observe he appeals to be a nice guy. I know he takes time each morning to do his hair, he is always on time but does not have an obsession for being punctual, and he has a slight smugness which emits from his presence. Probably a nice guy, probably some one I could for a friendship with; however, I prefer my sanctuary to contain myself. If he were to strike up a conversation I would without doubt be polite and partake, and maybe it will become an every class occurrence, from what I can tell, he is waiting for me to do the same; silence. Time to break out the books as the teacher begins to start up and commence her lecture. Perhaps it is time to make a new friend.

Windows 7 is coming!!one11!1

I came across this article and i became instantly happy and joyful upon completion of reading. Windows 7 for the win, Vista is still amazing, however new is always better. Microsoft will continue to trump competing operation systems with this newest release. For the record I will state Mac has a strong operation system if you are into art and graphics and such of the sort, which could make a case for choosing Mac over Windows, but rarely if ever should any accept a decision such as that. As far as business, school, or just everyday life, Microsoft is vastly superior. And there are several detailed and explanatory reasons which confirm this statement, however I will just leave it as a common fact which everyone knows and should accept if they don't. Resistance is futile! lol. This article is a good read for any techie.

http://www.eweek.com/c/a/Windows/Microsoft-Looks-Beyond-Vista-with-Windows-7/

(just click on the title of this entry and you will be redirected to the site)

So, majo?

अगो उनिफ्य आईटी रो
माय फवोरिते अनाग्राम तो डेट
ठाट एंड ऑफ़ कोर्स, अ रेक्टल फिनिश
बेकाउसे ठाट इस एक्साक्ट्ली वहत आईटी फील्स लिखे शे हस दोने तो में


Interesting stuff
This blog has multiple features in which I am attracted
Manipulating these features to suit my desires has captured my entertainment for a few hours
I could see how one would receive joy in doing so
Not with blog features, more so with a person
ugh, time and time again I find myself in this state, this rut
Why, I can not fathom
What is and what will never be
Self loathing, due to the fact I still believe in the good
Wishful thinking or perhaps ignorant bliss
Longing for the ability to just let go, to release
I distaste what occurred
Vehement denial plagues my conscious
Only because I know it was the right thing to happen
Foolishly I perceived a glorious outcome
Damn my foresightedness and naive aspersions
An eternal search for joy, happiness, and peace
I live in envy of your nonchalant lifestyle, your ability to forget
How I hope all is a farce


a rag man: a dodo flys

how i do long for them



blah
forget all of this
I just shake my head
And move on
"If i could do it all again"
- "You'd do it all again"
true
so who really cares?
Life it what it is
People are who they are
They change only in hopes of hiding who they really are
Continual lies to themselves will not provide a change
When you find you, come back to me

that's a great song by the amazing David Cook btw

ENGL

Back to the blog again as a result of classes starting up
Class is much small this semester
I actually get to sit with no one on either side, which I prefer
So far the majority of my classes have worked their way out like this
Excluding US History, which is over flowing with students, blah
I do enjoy history, so the suffering is minimized
Another note: I enjoy sitting in the back of the class and I do so not to seem cool, but rather it allows me to view and observe my fellow students
Most days I arrive early to class and just listen to what is being said around me.
I must admit, I have been able to accurately "peg" many of my teachers based on their actions before they have ever addressed the class.
All my teachers expect one are females, Anatomy II is the exception
I have yet to arrive for my Physical Fitness class, so perhaps another male teacher will surface
In all honesty I do not mind the females, from a teaching and or working with perspective
Working at the hospital being a male is equivalent to being a minority, let alone being a straight male
One might fathom being the lone male in a female world would equal bliss, the catch is the females for the most part are old enough to be my mother, at work that is
In my classes I find I am older than my fellow female students
I however am excited for this semester; between school, work, and life, time shall pass rather quick, and before I know it softball season will be upon me
And I must say I have been training intensely in anticipation of its arrival.
Most of the credit is due to my dear friend K.W. and his desires to join the Marines and train for it every waking second of life
His desires and urges for to follow are noted, and I often find myself dwelling on the thought of doing just so, however I remain undecided, which means a no.
As I have found out the hard way, things change
Sometimes with out notice or any perceived notions
Anything can, and the majority of the time, will happen
Life has a way of doing just that
In the end, I find life knows what it is doing, or shall I say God?
I have made peace with my life, and still have no regrets, nor would I go back and relive things differently, maybe in a different light, but not differently
Life is good
Life is give and take
Life is meant to be lived

http://blogs।reuters.com/soccer/2009/01/09/what-messi-thinks-of-ronaldo/

intersting

Unt. for the win though

Winter

Just finished reading my book Winter: a novel of a Berlin family and I must say I am left speechless
It tells the true story of a Berlin family and their lives throughout the first and second world wars
Reading for fun is an aspect of my life I which I have placed on the back burner, so to say, since my days in elementary school
During those times I was constantly engulfed and consumed by the mysteries of the Hardy Boys
I would find myself picking up anything I could my hands on to read, from TV Guide to the Bible
But somewhere intertwined with the transition from 5th to 6th grade I lost my appetite for reading.
Perhaps it became extinguished by the awe of newness
Or maybe it was my underlying fear of social acceptance
Regardless, I began to shun reading, while embracing the thrills and follies which come hand in hand with the life of an American youth
While I live my life with no regrets, I find myself pondering if I could go would I cling to reading instead of hastily disposing it to the waysides
I am glad to of found myself bored one afternoon at work and walking to the gift shop where Winter set hidden amongst the shelves.
25 cents is a small price to pay for joy
A phenomenal read
It has only added fuel to fire that is my interest in German affairs
History along with ancient culture is an area in which drawls immense interest from myself
However Germany appeals to my senses the most
As I learn the language I only find my tongue relishing in its new motions
Comfort and ease with which the words flow
Almost as if the language should come natural
An awakening, for one who has been asleep for far too long

New

New Year, New Semester, New Goals,
I'll be taking a heavy class load this semster
18 hrs, plus my CNA courses twice a week, each class lasting 3 hrs
and my job at the hospital
Great stuff
Time shall pass rather fast
Softball season is approaching, slowly
I enjoy softball more than anything else on this earth
maybe even love it
but softball has yet to flip on me, stab me in the back, lie and then act like i don't exist
So I guess I can't really say that it's a love relationship
fuck you, bitch
I'm so ready for the weather to warm up