Talking

class class class
next week will be the last week of class for the spring semester
I am looking forward to it
Not because i will have an entire semester off
I am taking summer courses
I am more looking forward to new
My new classes
and the new chances to meet new people
While I will pass on the vast majority of meeting these new people, the possibility of it is intoxicating
And my lab partner
what to do about her
we have spent countless hours in the lab reviewing notes and diligently studying for our exams
We have created some form of bond haven't we?
Am i to just continue of with my studies and proceed to end contact and communication just because we no long have classes nor a need to study anymore?
While several would dismiss the assumption of ending further communication, this is the route which has the greatest probable outcome
Along with the study partners I have in all my other classes
I have no inquired to their desired class list for the upcoming semesters
So I have no idea if I will be in the same classes as any of them
And it's cool
I know which classes I need to take, and i am taking exactly that
If by chance they end up in one of my classes then I can only assume we shall continue to study throughout the semester for said class
Friendships come and go
it's just a fact of life
i was talking with a good friend of mine the other day, and we landed on the topic of his current relationship status
Of course I asked how are things, and are you happy and so forth
I then proceeded to say this: " live each day like she is going to not be there the next, for whatever reason assume she is going to be gone in the morning and leave you broken, empty and alone."
His natural response was why?
I then stated, " because when it does inevitably occur, you will not be standing there in shock and awe, and plus you'll make the best of out each and everyday with her"
Yes I know it is kind of a double edge sword, but that is the nature of relationships
They can be the greatest thrill of your life, and also have the possibility of crushing and destroying everything which you are
They all should come with an " enter at your own risk" sign
But who am I to say such things?
i am just a bitter male who regards the vast majority of the female race as, well, bitches.
life goes on, tides occur, seasons change

: (

So I really just don't know why
I hate everything
I have tried to be happy but I just am not
Drinking is blah
Drugs are blah
I don't see myself ever being happy in life
i just don't see it
I long to have a relationship
I have tried, damn how I have tried
They just don't work out
or i get my hopes when I shouldn't
I wish I knew why, but i don't
fuck you all
i hope to die

lalalalalala

I want you
If only you knew
We've been there once
long long ago
when we were so young
we have grown and changed
for the better as it may seem
you are there
while i am here
let's find a happy place
in the middle with each other
i only am a simple man
bound and locked, lost within
the chains of pain
i should be your anti-depressant
and you mine
as we endure time, intertwined

New Word

"I still don't see what you ever saw in her"
even in the state i was in when i was told this, it still puzzled me
I have never been told that, ever
I could not come up with any sort of reply
As we drove I just sat there
The inevitable dream which would follow after passing out, was nothing special
that is, it was the same reoccurring I have come accustomed to
And by now they do not impact me as hard as they once have
I no longer dream or hope for things I wish to transpire
And while I would of thoroughly enjoyed spending the weekend in boro with bobby, I must say this weekend kicked ass
from the onset of thursday night, all the way to sunday night
it was a damn good week
I even was able to hang with Sandi on sunday afternoon and revisit times of old
I always enjoy my time spent with her
She will not be back until the summer
And speaking of summer, I am not sure I am looking forward to it
Although I have lost friendships between others this semester, they really have not made me sad, but i will miss a dear friend of mine during the summer while he is off kicking ass in paris island
Yes there will be a few others to hang with, but it just will not be the same,
And yes people will be back from college, but that does not mean anything. Bobby has been back from Southern for a while now, and we don't really hang anymore than we did when he was down there
i know he is busy and he will always be a dear friend so i am not worried about that, i was just giving an example
I will be taking 16hrs of classes this summer, working, and playing softball, so i prob won't have a lot of time for much of anything else
Which I guess will be a good thing
because I am not looking forward to everyone who will be back in town from college...
the beat goes on, as well as time
each day we get older, and all that good stuff
i am ready to get old, and to die
No there is no other life, no fancy club for those who have been good
just the end of the line, the last exit on the highway of life

Working tonight, class all night tues and thurs, which will cause me to miss my softball games sad sad sad sad face. I'm going to catch a play wed night, I do enjoy going to see them. I'll have to ask around and find someone to accompany me. I expect to spend the majority of the weekend with the lab partner preparing for out lab final in a week. she might have to retake the class this summer, and i might join her, just so I can make an A. I believe I will just be short of making Dean's List his semester, my projected GPA for the Spring Semester should be 3.4. That one C will hurt me. sad face.

Life is good for the moment, i do find myself wanting more at times. I almost think I want a relationship, but then I curtail my ambitions and remember what they entail. something I do not care for, a thing called emotions and trust. And then I remember how selfish I have become, and then I realize how glad i am to have the friends i do who can put up with my assholeness.

So Monday morning is upon me and it's time to blog while in my English class
I actually enjoy this class and my teacher
While she does assign several writing assignments, her style and flare for teaching keeps me awake during the early morning hours which this class occurs
4 more weeks and this semester will be over
I am looking forward to it
Not because I am glad to get out and take a break from class, quite the contrary.
I am taking summer classes and maybe even a maymester course
I am excited for the change of courses and overall atmosphere
I have signed up to take my same English teacher over the summer, and maybe even in the fall
Yes I have to take that much english
The majority of my summer course will be orientated with the mind and how it works
Extreme pleasure and joy
General Psych, Intro to Social problems, and perhaps Intro to Sociology
along with Elementary Stats, and an additional English course
There are a few course I am still undecided upon
Some of which include perspectives on the human body, religious diversity in America, MSCC1000, ANP, and some sort of History elective
I do believe I shall change my summer course several times and I do not know the exact outcome for any of the aforementioned courses.
I have flirted with the idea of transferring out to a major university after this summer, but at the moment I have elected to remain where I am
But who knows, least of all me
Ok, I;m tired of typing, been up since 4, my sleeping patterns are weird

Passion

Taking a coma once a week is highly advantageous I find
In addition I have discovered and came to embrace the fact that I have the most unusual sleeping pattern known to man
In the past I sought to correct my sleeping habits with medicine
After consuming countless little friends, I find frankly, "Fuck Pills"
I sleep when I can, study as much as I can, work when I can, exercise when I can, and chill always
In simple that constitutes my life and daily rituals
Softball shall be thrown into the mix when my season commences Tuesday night
Excited does no come close to describing the sensations generated by the mere thought of suiting up and taking the field
Pure bliss and joy
While throughout the day I alienate myself from the vast majority of living souls, it is on the field where I find peace
Not from my teammates, opponents, fans, or the officiating crew,
but from my glove, uniform, each and every base, the clay, the green grass, every ball and strike, each play I make and each play I fail; in short, the game
I embrace and intertwine myself with every aspect of the game
the good and the bad
the calls correctly made by the officiating crew, and the more abundant calls missed by them
The cheers and the jeers from the stands
And most importantly, the competition
Each game I strive for perfection
I will settle for creating covetousness of me from the opposing team
This is the only satisfaction i seek in life: to be wanted by another
yes i could put a relationship spin on it, but relationships rarely result in the joy and ecstasy i receive from the game
i will even embrace the purple uniforms we will be wearing this this
it will be the memories brought to light which I do not desire, not the homosexual color
I shall only add those into the conglomerance which is my fuel, my fire, my desire to play the game
Yes, it will be a good season, one I hope lasts for eternity

das Crunk-in-House

Oh my love, my love
Enjoying spending time with my love
shut the hell up
Does anyone really care?
Who wants to run out and get married and then turn into someone who has no life
Especially at a young age when neither person has a respectable income
yeah i love you so much I'm going to marry you and we are going to struggle and live pay check to paycheck getting deeper and deeper into debt
but our love with lat us prevail
Are you serious? I mean really
When there is financial stress it becomes all the more easier to grow upset and frustrated with someone, especially if that someone is the person who fooled you into getting married and now has your credit messed up for life and has completely destroyed your social life
So instead of going to the game, or hanging with the guys you have to be home by sunset to watch Scrubs, or One Tree Hill or some other homosexual show females like to watch and force their "love" to watch as well
Grow up and tell a bitch NO
No i do not want to get married, once we both get a job and are able to support one another then come talk to me
Anyone who desires to marry without thinking it through deserves the inevitable failure which is sure to come
Call me an ass, or heartless, but I speak the truth, give it one year, and you will realize how annoyed you are by that person, and you will be glad you didn't marry them


people have just begun to annoy me at a higher rate than normal
Am I jealous, no, not really
I enjoy being able to spend money on myself, rather than having to support two
I like being able to hang out with the guys or whoever I desire and not having to worry about explaining to the woman
Do I hate women, no I do not
But i do distaste the vast majority
And no i don't have issues with my mother
I am thankful i have the mother I do

In Classssssssssss

Relaxing while in my American Government class
The lights are off and we are intently watching a documentary concerning news and the decline of its reports, or something equivalent to such a thesis
I do wish for the presence of light, for I have been up all night studying and preparing paper after paer, along with cramming for an exam, which commences in 30 mins
I am surprised that i am still awake, my first course of action upon returning home shall be sleep.
this class has been somewhat of a disappointment
Originally, I have envisioned a class full of Obama drones and lazy ignorant, ummm, minorities
Sadly, this class is comprised of students who refrain from interjecting their opinions regarding any topic.
So I sit, and listen to my wonderful teacher lecture
I only wish she would mix up her wardrobe
She continually wears dark colors: black pants or skirts, with matching black or Grey tops
She does manage to mix things up and add a scarf or some small item
Young ex-lawyer, extremely interesting woman
Ah, intersting women, I could continue on for hours in regards to this topic.
but he's the short:
Christa= nigger loving bitch, opened my eyes to the evil with have vaginas
Kaytlin= amazing girl, what I am today is in largely because of her, not necessarily a good thing...
Danielle= was immature, i thought we were to be married, not so much
Sandi= for some reason i find myself wanting her, maybe it's lust, however she treated me better than any other girlfriend, and that is something i respect and am drawn too, kaytlin is a close second
Caitlin= if something is too good to be true, then it is. An amazing woman, well, was, well, who knows, I have cut ties with her completely. Wish her the best of luck
and that is about it, there have been a multitude of other minor characters, and many reoccurring faces, but nothing more than a hook up, a faceless woman who fulfills her purpose for that night
I have gone out on dates, many actually, with several women, but nothing worth getting my hopes up
So i don't
I keep my hopes close to my heart, yes my heart, and it will be my heart for a long time

off to US history, yay!!..........


fuck em, fuck em, fuck em even if they celibate

IHOP International House of Prayer

So last night I was invited to Danielle's birthday party
The plans for my night had already been ruined, so I entertained the possibility
Upon further questions, it was revealed to me her party was in north macon at the old church her and I attended, so long ago
the exact time frame was more so around the 10 month ago mark
events since that time have only added to the sense of duration
the building in north macon was anything but spectacular, the building had seen its fair share of seasons come and gone
the pale green paint was chipping off in several areas and the wooden fence with lined the perimeter was in dire need of repair, for the over growth made the task of locating the wooden defense nearly impossible
However those who flocked to the building claimed it as a holy place, or a house of god
I soon was assimilated and became a functional member of the body, my exact function and purpose in such a place had not made itself clear and present,
at the end of the day i found myself feeling somewhat brainwashed and upon the rising of the morning sun I would be on my way to the great house
to this day I can not provide an adequate explanation as to why i continued to make the journey day in and day out
was it because I believed there was some supernatural force at work among these walls?
Did I long for a sense of belonging among those who truly cared?
Had i completely lost hope and faith within myself so I was forced to find it elsewhere?
or did I simply just go because the girl i was infatuated with was constantly there?
the later of these explanations receives my belief; however it was also at these services in which i played the bass
And there en lies several additional unanswered questions
Continually going and sitting among those who believed they were being touched and moved by the Holly Spirit soon grew to be awkward, especially when they would turn to me excitingly asking 'did you feel Him move through this place!?"
growing tired of providing psuedo-answers of confirmation, I began to look for an out
I suppose I felt ashamed for lying in this building
A need was announced for a bass playing during the services, a need which I wasted no time in filling
Along with the singers, one of whom being Danielle, and other musicians, I created an atmosphere of worship, indirectly responsible for the congregation enduring their holy experiences
the aforementioned would approach upon the conclusion of their worship and thank me for my musical talent and for using such abilities to summon God in the place
I found these remarks more satisfying and less awkward then the questioning of my supernatural experiences during worship
Was it wrong to portray a farce in a building which so many exclaimed was the house of god?
At time, my sole concentration was upon Danielle, and the joy she brought to me
oddly enough, it was within this building's foundation that i lost such joy
thrown away, never to see the light of day nor my face again
And so here i was, being asked to revisit this old little house to celebrate the birth of she who broke my heart first, along with all the members who believe me to be holy, created for a purpose to win others to the salvation of their god
To only supplement to the irony, the church which embodied the house had moved into a larger building, leaving Danielle and her mother to move in and live within the walls of the old holy house of prayer.
No, i did not seek to revisit such a historical place
the thoughts and memories with find their way into my conscious thought were more than enough to suffice
I did not desire a visual reminder, for the end result would be that of an awkwardness which man has never experienced, this man at least

Stance Essay #2

Joshua G. Buchanan
POLS 1101
J. Dawson
April 6, 2009
Debate 6 Qualified To Be President?
For centuries America has been referred to as the country of dreams, the new world, and a place where anyone can accomplish any feat; however when it comes to attaining the oval office, and what is regarded as being the most powerful position of them all, a large percentage of American citizens already have their dreams extinguished. While the Constitution allows for all American citizens to actively participate and even achieve such high political positions as Secretary of State, Article II Section I of The Constitution reads “No person except a natural-born citizen shall be eligible to the office of the President.” At the Constitution’s inception, the concept of a naturalized citizen obtaining the title of Commander In Chief was absurd to say the least. As time has progressed, the political landscape of America has seen multitudes of foreign-born citizens rise to power and continually add to legislation and the overall well-being of the nation. Logically the next question to arise would be: why does the Constitution restrict such great politicians from the opportunity of becoming President of the great nation of which they represent? Matthew Spalding and John Yinger each have opposing ideals concerning this issue, and each presents their case before Congress in an attempt to finally resolve this matter of debate.
Matthew Spalding, Director for the Center of American Studies and The Heritage Foundation, provides his testimony during hearings on “Maximizing Voter Choice: Opening the Presidency to Naturalized Americans,” before the U.S. Senate committee on the Judiciary. Spalding is in agreement with the current standards and limitations provided by the Constitution. Spalding commences his statements by citing quotations from President George Washington pertaining to America’s welcoming of foreigners and those who seek prosperity. While one may initially believe Spalding is endorsing a change, he immediately continues by providing an example of the downfalls of ambitious foreigners: Poland in 1772. It was during this time that the secret services of Austria, Prussia, and Russia had connived to engineer the election of their own choice for king, whereupon the entirety of Poland was partitioned and divided among the three powers. Spalding then provides several examples of how those involved with the Constitutional Congress had vehemently debated over the issue of allowing foreign born citizens to become President. Charles Pickney, George Mason, James Wilson, and Alexander Hamilton each proposed their own unique variations and opinions towards the issue; however one viewpoint prevailed and was adopted in the drafting of the U.S. Constitution. Spalding concludes by saying the founding fathers selected these actions on the basis of national self-defense; it was too large of a risk to allow a foreigner to rise to power. Spalding strongest statement is as followed: “while the practical circumstances have changed- there is not threat of a foreign royal king taking the reins of power- the underlying concerns about foreign attachments and favoritism, and the need for absolute allegiance and loyalty in the executive, still make sense.”
John Yinger, Professor of Economics and Public Administration, Syracuse University, holds an opinion in stark contrast to that of Matthew Spalding. Yinger opens by reciting a phrase from the Declaration of Independence: “all men are created equal.” Yinger continues by reinforcing the fact that every citizen in America is equal and shares equal rights, even that to the White House. John Yinger outlines several points to his debate. The first argument is centering on establishing the founders’ doubts about the natural-born citizen requirement. Yinger does this by attempting to depict the establishment of the grandfather clause to be one of revealing the Founders did not want to prevent all naturalized citizens from running for President. The grandfather clause grants presidential eligibility to any “Citizen of the United States at the time of the Adoption of the Constitution.” This clause gave eligibility to tens of thousands of naturalized citizens, including seven of the people who signed the Constitution. Yinger believes this wording of the clause effectively proves the founder’s were not wholly intent on restriction eligibility to only native-born citizens. Yinger’s next course of action is to display that second-class citizenship for naturalized citizens violates the equal-rights principle. Yinger’s briefly describes several debates concerning the issues and then moves into providing examples of demonstrated trust in naturalized citizens. Yinger quotes several founding fathers, including George Washington, James Madison, and Alexander Hamilton, pertaining to their lack of concern about nativity. Foreigners also received several high-federal positions, which Yinger proceeded to express. The third phase of Yinger’s argument involves arguments for and against removing the natural-born citizen requirement. However, instead of going into detail of the argument against removing the natural-born citizen requirement, Yinger simply states this opinion is wrong and false and emphasizes his repudiations with excerpts from papers writing by Alexander Hamilton and James Madison, who express similar convictions. In conclusion, Yinger’s final point is one of a simple matter of equal rights: “the principles on which our democracy is founded need to be protected, extended, and reaffirmed.”
One cannot discredit nor ignore the achievements and strides gained in the political arena by naturalized-citizens. Both men provide an excellent debate and insight into their respective ideals. Could it be possible that the most appropriate and logical course of action is a paragon which incorporates both views? In a perfect world perhaps yes; however, this world is not perfect, far from it to be honest. Professor Yinger can speculate for eons over the Founding Fathers’ feelings toward naturalized citizens, the only fact one can rely on is the end result of the Constitutional Congress; the Constitution, mainly Article II Section I. This section clearly states the requirements for those desiring to acquire the title of President of the United States. While present-day America is a far cry from 1772 Poland, the heart of man will never change, with greed and power reaming at the forefront of man’s downfalls. History is bound to repeat itself, and even back in 1787 the Founding Father’s knew and respected this fact. The creators of the Constitution were aware of the potential positive impacts naturalized-citizens could have upon America and these beliefs were reflected by allowing naturalized-citizens to become members of both Congressional Houses and even on the state and local levels. America is the land of equality where every man is created equal, and restricting the presidential requirements to solely natural-born citizens does not infringe on this ideal. American should be run by one who is American. If one were to immerse themselves within the activities on Capitol Hill, the end result would be one of realizing most of the power resides within the Congressional Houses, which naturalized-citizens are allowed to be a part of and actively participate.