growing pains

yes
growing pains
but things shall all be good



i'm just a hooligan who's used to usin' hallucinogens
Causin' illusions again
Brain contusions again
Cutting and bruisin' the skin
Razors, scissors and pins
Jesus, when does it end?
Phases, that I go through
Dazed, and I'm so confused
Cheesed, that I don't know who
Gave, these molecules to
me, what am I gon' do?
Heed, the prodigal son
The diabolical one
Very methodical

- eminem 3am

MM

put holes in happiness
it's what I do
i have a unique skill set when it comes to doing this to others,
but i have my own specialty when it comes to myself
granted
i just was not meant to be happy

saying I am happy
or you make me happy
does not feel right
when I say it I can only think of how in the end
i will remember this instance as a lie
my subconscious speaks louder than my hate induced rants ever will

why don't people believe me when I say I can read anyone?
time after time I prove myself to be spot on
9 times out of 10 i already am aware of the outcome
however I still "play along"

i kill myself in small amounts
in each relationship its not about love
just another funeral
and just another girl left in tears

yes
familiar lyrics i know
but I am in a MM mode at the moment

i gave my soul to someone else
she must of known that it was already sold
but it was never about her
it was about the hurt

and you seem
she knows this
I am sure of it
her comments, subtle as she may believe they are,
are in actuality
painstaking obiovus
that
she
is
jealous

jealous of the past
but no I do not dwell in or on the past
right?
it is as if she logs on to her and reads these awful rants
but no
i am not as hard to read as I fancy myself to be
those who care and actually take an interest know all too well
too bad once they do somewhat figure me out
they begin to doubt themselves
strange i know
there are no expectations on my part
i am, blunt, very blunt
i make my desires and wishes evident
not down, then gtfo
i like to use that excuse for why i have not dated in the past 3 years
but we all know the real reason
or do we



love is a fire
burns down all that it sees
burns down everything
everything you think burns down everything you say

Joshua Buchanan

has just lost his shit
completely
blinded my anger
no recollection of what was said
i remember beginning to lose my shit
then everything is a blur
comprising anger and unresolved issues
pent up for years upon years
then i am in the front yard
with dallas grabbing my arm
like wtf just happened


yes
i am a winner



sad fucking face