Friday, December 31, 2010
Leon
Keep my best friend in you mind, thoughts, and prayers, or whichever you prefer. He lost his biological father early this morning due to a massive heart attack. It was unexpected to say the least. He has been a phenomenal friend through countless ups and downs during my life. I love him as if he were another brother. I pray for strength and comfort for him and his family throughout this unbelievably difficult ordeal.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Theory 1
further my knowledge base one day at a time.
Or perhaps one book at a time, one page at a time.
I do enjoy learning. Not everything, just the things which I have interests in: well, ok, it is a wide range of areas; however, I find myself looking at the "gray" areas so to speak, those which are unclear to many and are simply brushed aside. I do enjoy them. These "off-limit" areas I find particularly intriguing, or better yet, I find people's opinions on the subject matter enticing.
Religion, yes religion: a system of thought, feeling, and action that is shared by a group and that gives the members an object of devotion. Whom is right, whom is wrong, yet, it somehow seems as it all religions, from the immensely popular to the renegade sect, share striking similarities. The initial reaction from the followers of such a religion is to immediately state they are a part of the one true religion while all others are farces. I find it baffling as to why the aforementioned sentiment is the popular course of action. Why not consider the possibly that these religions descend from the same source? People, much like cats, are curious by nature, the normal ones that is. People also like sex. Sex creates babies. Babies create a strain on resources. Strain equals stress and where there is stress there is plenty of uncomfortable family get-togethers. Eventually people spread out away from families to forge their own future, complete with all the grain they can consume. However, people are by nature adverse to change, once again the normal ones. So when they do move on to their own grain pastures, they attempt to hold on to aspects which remind them of "home." As I hope you can tell, the grain usage would point to my conversation pertaining to previous times, before thoughts and ideas were written down for instance. Stories, thoughts, beliefs, farming techniques, and religion all were passed on and preserved by the oral route, no not like that, but by telling them to children, family, and friends. But like any grandchild, the same stories told by grandpa tend to fall on def ears. But hey, kids these days know everything right? Oh, but when it comes time to actually put in to action all those dear necessities grandpa so desperately tried to bequeath, little Johnny finds himself with sudden amnesia. Oh what to do now, the mind races to come up with the proper response; that's it, make something up that seems to fit. God becomes Allah, Allah becomes Vishnu, Vishnu becomes Oya and so forth. But lo and behold, the innovation of writing things down; how revolutionary. And so these incorrect recollections are permanently transcribed forever dooming the peace of all mankind. That is basically my theory, one of them. Digest it, enjoy.
-by my, josh b
Or perhaps one book at a time, one page at a time.
I do enjoy learning. Not everything, just the things which I have interests in: well, ok, it is a wide range of areas; however, I find myself looking at the "gray" areas so to speak, those which are unclear to many and are simply brushed aside. I do enjoy them. These "off-limit" areas I find particularly intriguing, or better yet, I find people's opinions on the subject matter enticing.
Religion, yes religion: a system of thought, feeling, and action that is shared by a group and that gives the members an object of devotion. Whom is right, whom is wrong, yet, it somehow seems as it all religions, from the immensely popular to the renegade sect, share striking similarities. The initial reaction from the followers of such a religion is to immediately state they are a part of the one true religion while all others are farces. I find it baffling as to why the aforementioned sentiment is the popular course of action. Why not consider the possibly that these religions descend from the same source? People, much like cats, are curious by nature, the normal ones that is. People also like sex. Sex creates babies. Babies create a strain on resources. Strain equals stress and where there is stress there is plenty of uncomfortable family get-togethers. Eventually people spread out away from families to forge their own future, complete with all the grain they can consume. However, people are by nature adverse to change, once again the normal ones. So when they do move on to their own grain pastures, they attempt to hold on to aspects which remind them of "home." As I hope you can tell, the grain usage would point to my conversation pertaining to previous times, before thoughts and ideas were written down for instance. Stories, thoughts, beliefs, farming techniques, and religion all were passed on and preserved by the oral route, no not like that, but by telling them to children, family, and friends. But like any grandchild, the same stories told by grandpa tend to fall on def ears. But hey, kids these days know everything right? Oh, but when it comes time to actually put in to action all those dear necessities grandpa so desperately tried to bequeath, little Johnny finds himself with sudden amnesia. Oh what to do now, the mind races to come up with the proper response; that's it, make something up that seems to fit. God becomes Allah, Allah becomes Vishnu, Vishnu becomes Oya and so forth. But lo and behold, the innovation of writing things down; how revolutionary. And so these incorrect recollections are permanently transcribed forever dooming the peace of all mankind. That is basically my theory, one of them. Digest it, enjoy.
-by my, josh b
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Christmas twenty ten
Merry Christmas
I believe I will give the greatest gift of all, sharing a little bit of myself with my cherished readers, or perhaps it's just reader, seeing how I myself only count as one mere soul. Sorry, no gift receipts included.
Now normally this would be the part where I would allow readers to ask any question of me and I would graciously provide an honest answer. But then again, for those who know me in the least bit, how can anyone expect an honest glimpse into my inner-workings and deepest darkest secrets. Intriguing huh? Well, may be not.
I would really like a telescope. I enjoy space and looking at space; the stars in general. It's not even that I wonder what's out there, or even if there is life out there; I just enjoy looking at the stars and all that "stuff" out there. Of course I enjoy star trek and star wars and all that nerdy stuff, oh, I can't forget halo either. I find it relaxing, peaceful even. Overall, I find it cool.
I miss my skateboard. Me? Skateboarding? Yes, believe it. I had a skateboard during my highschool years, and I wasn't half bad either. Somewhere along the line I lost my skateboard. I believe I left it out in the rain, well, over at a friend's house and it was rained on. That was the story I was told, I think on of my friends took it, or may be it was a drunk joke gone wrong, or even possible a drunk joke that was forgotten in the morning. But I do miss it. Go out and buy one, yeah I know. I just haven't. I feel too old actually.
My mind is always racing, always thinking. I develop several theories throughout the day, most them occurring spontaneously. Most them concern medical events and their origins and subsequent treatment options. Others are about people and interactions, or the possible interaction. While I enjoy it, it makes falling asleep extremely difficult. I believe I will have to put on something since the melatonin is no longer working. Most nights I end up taking 9. Other times I take Benadryl and sleep for 12 hours. I hate it.
Random I know, but that's how I think when I try to calm down and go to sleep. I often reflect on previous events in my life. I have no regrets. If I could go back and do everything over I have no doubt that I would make the same choices and decisions, but if I could go back with the knowledge that I have now would I change anything? I'm sure I would act better as a child in public, and I would try to realize the bigger picture. I hate that as a child I embarrassed my parents in public. Aside from that I would not change anything. I am where I am today as a direct result from all the decisions I made throughout my life. All the pain, all the joy, all the sadness, all the accomplishments were worth it. Do get sad and lonely sometimes? Sure I do. But all of my relationships would have ended anyways, there were all great while they lasted (except for those last few months with Danielle, and all the psycho shit Christa did) and I am thankful for them all. Well, sort of. And I believe they all are better off now anyways, and if they aren't then I'm glad I got out while I could. I refuse to be what I mock. That is, I refuse to be an underachiever. I refuse to live poorly, blaming the man for all the bad in my life. I refuse to settle in regards to a spouse. I refuse to force "love." I refuse to become a whiskey tango (WT, or white trash). No, I'm too gifted for that life. Too smart. Too special. Too unique. I am certain I have the abilities to achieve success, to make an impact on others with the life I live. a good impact that is. May be not become President, or cure cancer, (granted I know I could run the greatest free nation and propel it to uncharted heights, and well cancer, hmmm, we'll see), but I do know I can make a difference on a somewhat larger scale than the vast majority.
I would like to go to med school, and I would like to enter the political arena, I would love to go into space, hell, may be even be a clinical nurse researcher in space. That would be the bees knees yo. Of course I would also enjoy psychology, literature, social studies, event sports healthcare, like traveling with a team and all. But, I would be more than happy to stay in this little town, doing whatever it is I decide on. I still haven't been able to figure out why it upset you the way it did when I said I was simple. I find myself often thinking about that. I could go into great detail explaining the various theories I have and the merit each of them have, but i never tell my secrets. I'm pretty sure you were buzzing to some extent during that conversation, and that's where I cease my obsessing. lol, buzzing, see what I did there? witty i kno.
But there en lies the problem. I tend to reflect far too often, and since I obsess with most other areas of life, I obsess with random memories. It's the psychological aspect I find enticing. The motives behind peoples actions. If you understand why people make the decisions they make, then you can predict their actions.
I feel bad for not talking to Ross since this summer. Almost as if he was an innocent bystander of the whole thing. I assumed he just didn't want to be friends or have anything to do with me. Not because I was rude or mean to him, but just because of the way I acted. And i wouldn't blame him. But he is a good friend, a dear good friend. I hate that I haven't been able to hang out with him when he has requested this winter holiday. I do hope work and practice will no longer interfere.
Season Tickets to the Braves, now that would be awesome
Time for sleep? I do hope so.
Happy Holidays
I believe I will give the greatest gift of all, sharing a little bit of myself with my cherished readers, or perhaps it's just reader, seeing how I myself only count as one mere soul. Sorry, no gift receipts included.
Now normally this would be the part where I would allow readers to ask any question of me and I would graciously provide an honest answer. But then again, for those who know me in the least bit, how can anyone expect an honest glimpse into my inner-workings and deepest darkest secrets. Intriguing huh? Well, may be not.
I would really like a telescope. I enjoy space and looking at space; the stars in general. It's not even that I wonder what's out there, or even if there is life out there; I just enjoy looking at the stars and all that "stuff" out there. Of course I enjoy star trek and star wars and all that nerdy stuff, oh, I can't forget halo either. I find it relaxing, peaceful even. Overall, I find it cool.
I miss my skateboard. Me? Skateboarding? Yes, believe it. I had a skateboard during my highschool years, and I wasn't half bad either. Somewhere along the line I lost my skateboard. I believe I left it out in the rain, well, over at a friend's house and it was rained on. That was the story I was told, I think on of my friends took it, or may be it was a drunk joke gone wrong, or even possible a drunk joke that was forgotten in the morning. But I do miss it. Go out and buy one, yeah I know. I just haven't. I feel too old actually.
My mind is always racing, always thinking. I develop several theories throughout the day, most them occurring spontaneously. Most them concern medical events and their origins and subsequent treatment options. Others are about people and interactions, or the possible interaction. While I enjoy it, it makes falling asleep extremely difficult. I believe I will have to put on something since the melatonin is no longer working. Most nights I end up taking 9. Other times I take Benadryl and sleep for 12 hours. I hate it.
Random I know, but that's how I think when I try to calm down and go to sleep. I often reflect on previous events in my life. I have no regrets. If I could go back and do everything over I have no doubt that I would make the same choices and decisions, but if I could go back with the knowledge that I have now would I change anything? I'm sure I would act better as a child in public, and I would try to realize the bigger picture. I hate that as a child I embarrassed my parents in public. Aside from that I would not change anything. I am where I am today as a direct result from all the decisions I made throughout my life. All the pain, all the joy, all the sadness, all the accomplishments were worth it. Do get sad and lonely sometimes? Sure I do. But all of my relationships would have ended anyways, there were all great while they lasted (except for those last few months with Danielle, and all the psycho shit Christa did) and I am thankful for them all. Well, sort of. And I believe they all are better off now anyways, and if they aren't then I'm glad I got out while I could. I refuse to be what I mock. That is, I refuse to be an underachiever. I refuse to live poorly, blaming the man for all the bad in my life. I refuse to settle in regards to a spouse. I refuse to force "love." I refuse to become a whiskey tango (WT, or white trash). No, I'm too gifted for that life. Too smart. Too special. Too unique. I am certain I have the abilities to achieve success, to make an impact on others with the life I live. a good impact that is. May be not become President, or cure cancer, (granted I know I could run the greatest free nation and propel it to uncharted heights, and well cancer, hmmm, we'll see), but I do know I can make a difference on a somewhat larger scale than the vast majority.
I would like to go to med school, and I would like to enter the political arena, I would love to go into space, hell, may be even be a clinical nurse researcher in space. That would be the bees knees yo. Of course I would also enjoy psychology, literature, social studies, event sports healthcare, like traveling with a team and all. But, I would be more than happy to stay in this little town, doing whatever it is I decide on. I still haven't been able to figure out why it upset you the way it did when I said I was simple. I find myself often thinking about that. I could go into great detail explaining the various theories I have and the merit each of them have, but i never tell my secrets. I'm pretty sure you were buzzing to some extent during that conversation, and that's where I cease my obsessing. lol, buzzing, see what I did there? witty i kno.
But there en lies the problem. I tend to reflect far too often, and since I obsess with most other areas of life, I obsess with random memories. It's the psychological aspect I find enticing. The motives behind peoples actions. If you understand why people make the decisions they make, then you can predict their actions.
I feel bad for not talking to Ross since this summer. Almost as if he was an innocent bystander of the whole thing. I assumed he just didn't want to be friends or have anything to do with me. Not because I was rude or mean to him, but just because of the way I acted. And i wouldn't blame him. But he is a good friend, a dear good friend. I hate that I haven't been able to hang out with him when he has requested this winter holiday. I do hope work and practice will no longer interfere.
Season Tickets to the Braves, now that would be awesome
Time for sleep? I do hope so.
Happy Holidays
Friday, December 24, 2010
tingle tingle, jingle jingle
I have come to the conclusion as follows: facebook is worthless, granted staying "connected" with every is "cool" and whatnot; however, I just find people annoying. Yes yes I know, then why did I accept their friend requests, or, it sure says volumes about you in regards to how all your friends on facebook despise you poor bastard. I do enjoy keeping tabs on everyone, in part because I enjoy observing how people decide to display themselves to others via this social network, and I am friends with several people just for this benefit; of course being friend with Kelli Twigg is one enormous visual benefit, that should go without saying. The overwhelming majority of my friends I do not vocally (or textually) converse with on a daily or evenly monthly basis. As in actual social interactions, I find myself filled with awkward sensations when attempting to create a new "status update." Should I say something meaningful? No, I don't want all these pseudofriends receiving access to my personal thoughts, emotions, and feelings. Those are sacred nuggets granted to only those whom I deem worthy, which, sadly, are few and far between. Perhaps I could post something funny and indicative of my charming whit! Wait, no; most of my humor is trapped within the mind of a teenager forever giggling over fart jokes and the word boobs. If my humor is not rooted in elementary school bathroom jokes, it is constantly saturated with allusions to comicbook superheros, nerdy one liners, and when all else fails, "that's what she said" or my favorite, "no u." I have have found that such post only further alienate me from my facebook friends. Many people simply do not get my simple jokes, which cause me to refrain from future witty delights. May be I should tell others about my day, or better yet express my plans for upcoming days! No, that won't do;
more forthcoming, the sleep pills are making their presence felt rather intensely this evening. ah yes, quite good, quite good indeed
I shall fall asleep listening to Dr House solve one of his many puzzles, or perhaps listening to the epic adventures of a hobbit and a mystical ring, oh Aragorn, epic is your middle name, along with bad-ass.
Shit, sleep overwhelms me, much as your presence super saturates my senses as you skillfully maneuver throughout the environment, allthewhile concealing your ever so beautiful existence, yeah something like that must sound profound, which means it must have meaning.
miserable men make most minute memories momentous
no u
more forthcoming, the sleep pills are making their presence felt rather intensely this evening. ah yes, quite good, quite good indeed
I shall fall asleep listening to Dr House solve one of his many puzzles, or perhaps listening to the epic adventures of a hobbit and a mystical ring, oh Aragorn, epic is your middle name, along with bad-ass.
Shit, sleep overwhelms me, much as your presence super saturates my senses as you skillfully maneuver throughout the environment, allthewhile concealing your ever so beautiful existence, yeah something like that must sound profound, which means it must have meaning.
miserable men make most minute memories momentous
no u
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
XX death
This place is a prison
And this people aren't your friends
Inhaling thrills through $20 bills
And the tumblers are drained and then flooded again
And again
And this people aren't your friends
Inhaling thrills through $20 bills
And the tumblers are drained and then flooded again
And again
(pick any death cab song title and insert here)
I am taken aback at the previous events on my night/early morning
After playing Halo Reach on Xbox Live with friends whom I will never see irl, I find myself tired and ready to embrace my warm bed, take my pain meds, relieve some stress, and fall asleep
preparing to "relieve stress," I find myself eagerly typing in my favorite web address; however, I pause and begin to look for some music to use as "cover"
randomly I select play only to be hypnotized by Death Cab for Cutie's Title and Registration
I then proceed to pause my video and become wholly consumed by the memories triggered by the heavenly lyrics
I do believe for every song by death cab I have an exact memory/situation while is perfectly described
I am grateful for being introduced to them, and the fond memories created while listening to them, Good times indeed.
now back to what I was doing before music and this subsequent post
After playing Halo Reach on Xbox Live with friends whom I will never see irl, I find myself tired and ready to embrace my warm bed, take my pain meds, relieve some stress, and fall asleep
preparing to "relieve stress," I find myself eagerly typing in my favorite web address; however, I pause and begin to look for some music to use as "cover"
randomly I select play only to be hypnotized by Death Cab for Cutie's Title and Registration
I then proceed to pause my video and become wholly consumed by the memories triggered by the heavenly lyrics
I do believe for every song by death cab I have an exact memory/situation while is perfectly described
I am grateful for being introduced to them, and the fond memories created while listening to them, Good times indeed.
now back to what I was doing before music and this subsequent post
Thursday, September 9, 2010
French stuff
so I must say,
the movie
I am a sex addict
which can be found on tvshack.com btw
is a great movie
for some reason I loled more than saving france
actually
france was not saved at all
ahhh
that guy is so social awkward
great stuff
- "you had intercourse?"
"yeah.... but I used a condom"
-"you promised that you weren't going to"
"I know, I'm sorry. I tried not to, but i couldn't help myself. She said the words rape me, and I just got really turned on after that."
(aside to the audience) "now I think i should explain, that this was especially difficult for Carline to hear, because she herself had been raped."
OMG, epic
rofl
the movie
I am a sex addict
which can be found on tvshack.com btw
is a great movie
for some reason I loled more than saving france
actually
france was not saved at all
ahhh
that guy is so social awkward
great stuff
- "you had intercourse?"
"yeah.... but I used a condom"
-"you promised that you weren't going to"
"I know, I'm sorry. I tried not to, but i couldn't help myself. She said the words rape me, and I just got really turned on after that."
(aside to the audience) "now I think i should explain, that this was especially difficult for Carline to hear, because she herself had been raped."
OMG, epic
rofl
Saturday, August 28, 2010
honey-bee
I'd like to slip into a coma
While in a county I've never visited
Surrounded by unknown faces
My time would come
And I would end
As quietly as I begun
by me josh b
While in a county I've never visited
Surrounded by unknown faces
My time would come
And I would end
As quietly as I begun
by me josh b
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Tom Petty
Well, I don't know, but I've been told,
You never slow down, you never grow old.
I'm tired of screwin' up, tired of going down,
Tired of myself, tired of this town.
Oh, my, my. Oh, hell, yes.
Honey, put on that party dress.
Buy me a drink, sing me a song.
Take me as I come 'cause I can't stay long.
There's pigeons down on Market Square.
She's standin' in her underwear,
Lookin' down from a hotel room.
Nightfall will be comin' soon.
Oh, my, my. Oh, hell, yes.
You got to put on that party dress.
It was too cold to cry when I woke up alone.
I hit my last number and walked to the road.
*please note I a, not in any complaining about the city in which I reside.
I wholly love Warner Robins; however, this song just plainly owns, much like myself.
Why yes, all I do is own.
You never slow down, you never grow old.
I'm tired of screwin' up, tired of going down,
Tired of myself, tired of this town.
Oh, my, my. Oh, hell, yes.
Honey, put on that party dress.
Buy me a drink, sing me a song.
Take me as I come 'cause I can't stay long.
There's pigeons down on Market Square.
She's standin' in her underwear,
Lookin' down from a hotel room.
Nightfall will be comin' soon.
Oh, my, my. Oh, hell, yes.
You got to put on that party dress.
It was too cold to cry when I woke up alone.
I hit my last number and walked to the road.
*please note I a, not in any complaining about the city in which I reside.
I wholly love Warner Robins; however, this song just plainly owns, much like myself.
Why yes, all I do is own.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
glee
Everyone's a let down
It just depends on how far down they can go
In every circle of friends there's a whore
The one who flirts
And does a little more
But who's to say?
This is a social scene anyway
And everybody wants to explore the new girl
Caught up in her own hard liquor world
But liquor doesn't exist in my worldAnd if you lie you don't deserve to have friends
If you lie you don't deserve to have them
If you lie you don't deserve to have friendsThe social scene where she gets her fix
Has been broken since '86
Now just look at that social clique
Do you really wanna be a part of it?
Let's not let us forget
Where she gets the habit
She gets the pills from her skills
She gets the skills from the pills
Fuck you
and you
It just depends on how far down they can go
In every circle of friends there's a whore
The one who flirts
And does a little more
But who's to say?
This is a social scene anyway
And everybody wants to explore the new girl
Caught up in her own hard liquor world
But liquor doesn't exist in my worldAnd if you lie you don't deserve to have friends
If you lie you don't deserve to have them
If you lie you don't deserve to have friendsThe social scene where she gets her fix
Has been broken since '86
Now just look at that social clique
Do you really wanna be a part of it?
Let's not let us forget
Where she gets the habit
She gets the pills from her skills
She gets the skills from the pills
Fuck you
and you
Friday, July 2, 2010
Sunday, June 20, 2010
ago unify it row
I'll start this off
Without any words
I got so high that
I scratched 'til I bled
The finest day
That I ever had
Was when I learned
To cry on command
Love myself
Better than you
I know it's wrong
So what should I do?
I'm on a plain
I can't complain
I'm on a plain
My mother died
Every night
It's safe to say
Don't quote me on that
The black sheep got
Blackmailed again
Forgot to put
On the zip code
Love myself
Better than you
I know it's wrong
So what should I do?
I'm on a plain
I can't complain
I'm on a plain
Somewhere I have heard this before
In a dream my memory has stored
As defense I'm neutered and spayed
What the hell am I trying to say?
It is now time
To make it unclear
To write off lines
That don't make a sense
One more special
Message to go
And then I'm done
And I can go home
Love myself
Better than you
I know it's wrong
So what should I do?
Without any words
I got so high that
I scratched 'til I bled
The finest day
That I ever had
Was when I learned
To cry on command
Love myself
Better than you
I know it's wrong
So what should I do?
I'm on a plain
I can't complain
I'm on a plain
My mother died
Every night
It's safe to say
Don't quote me on that
The black sheep got
Blackmailed again
Forgot to put
On the zip code
Love myself
Better than you
I know it's wrong
So what should I do?
I'm on a plain
I can't complain
I'm on a plain
Somewhere I have heard this before
In a dream my memory has stored
As defense I'm neutered and spayed
What the hell am I trying to say?
It is now time
To make it unclear
To write off lines
That don't make a sense
One more special
Message to go
And then I'm done
And I can go home
Love myself
Better than you
I know it's wrong
So what should I do?
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Fancy Seeing You Here
Coco in Atlanta was phenomenal
Exams tomorrow, which I shall ace
I no longer have a passion for helping people who do not care to help themselves. It is a losing battle. The lower class Americans (some whom are here illegally) in no way benefit society. Granted we need people to sweep and be the base of jokes, the benefits minimally outweigh the negative consequences. These sub cultures and counter-cultures do nothing but allow a voice for ignorance.
Exams tomorrow, which I shall ace
I no longer have a passion for helping people who do not care to help themselves. It is a losing battle. The lower class Americans (some whom are here illegally) in no way benefit society. Granted we need people to sweep and be the base of jokes, the benefits minimally outweigh the negative consequences. These sub cultures and counter-cultures do nothing but allow a voice for ignorance.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Monday, May 31, 2010
0134
Class resumes on Thursday
I hope to completely consume myself within my classes
I continue lose more and ore respect for the females within my life
Aside from the women in my family that is
Even the "bitches" with whom I frequent
They annoy me and strain my patience
To be devoid of all emotion is a farce
Misery would not be an appropriate adjective to describe one's current state
Exhausted; in all areas and to the extreme
I do not care for anything else apart from bettering myself
I hope to completely consume myself within my classes
I continue lose more and ore respect for the females within my life
Aside from the women in my family that is
Even the "bitches" with whom I frequent
They annoy me and strain my patience
To be devoid of all emotion is a farce
Misery would not be an appropriate adjective to describe one's current state
Exhausted; in all areas and to the extreme
I do not care for anything else apart from bettering myself
Thursday, May 13, 2010
oh Ed
"It was the manner in which all this, and much more, was said - it was the apparent heart that went with (t)his request - which allowed me no room for hesitation; and I accordingly obeyed forthwith what I still considered a very singular summons."
- The Fall of the House of Usher; by Edgar Allan Poe
- The Fall of the House of Usher; by Edgar Allan Poe
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
less than three
Tim Tebow
drafted in the 1st round, 25th pick overall to the Denver Broncos
I am so happy
I was worried that he would get drafted in the 2nd or 3rd round, which occur tomorrow evening, the same time I have a softball game.
Things worked out
and I am overjoyed
ecstatic
<3
Tim (less than three) Tebow
Go Broncos
drafted in the 1st round, 25th pick overall to the Denver Broncos
I am so happy
I was worried that he would get drafted in the 2nd or 3rd round, which occur tomorrow evening, the same time I have a softball game.
Things worked out
and I am overjoyed
ecstatic
<3
Tim (less than three) Tebow
Go Broncos
Monday, April 12, 2010
As the other 2 are in the shower
just wanted to walk off away into the lake
and feel the weight of the water
pull me under and wrap my empty soul
within arms of its dark embrace
and feel the weight of the water
pull me under and wrap my empty soul
within arms of its dark embrace
Thursday, March 25, 2010
minorities :(
so i feel as if it is time for a political rant, full of my theories, thoughts, beliefs, and ideals. of course they all will be correct. I shall be composing my thoughts throughout my next spare moments (which will consists of several days) and graciously share my genius with you, the reader.
oh, and on a second note, I will never eat hot dogs again. I would enjoy to ceases all consumption of pig products, a la the jungle.
American is beginning to fail.
And I blame everyone; however, I mostly blame the poor, the minorities (which will soon include white, damn that upsets me), the uneducated, and the major political parties. Wait, what? the major political parties? No, you must mean the Democrats? Right? No. I blame the Democrats and the Republicans. No, not the political parties of old, but more so the political parties of current date which have molested and defiled the platforms which these parties once stood for. While I cannot completely blame the politicians for these horrific changes, the blame rests largely upon the uneducated voters and those who are swayed by more so by their eyes and not by their beliefs.
no, that was just something I wanted to express, poorly I might add.
The proper expression shall be created in due time.
2010
oh, and on a second note, I will never eat hot dogs again. I would enjoy to ceases all consumption of pig products, a la the jungle.
American is beginning to fail.
And I blame everyone; however, I mostly blame the poor, the minorities (which will soon include white, damn that upsets me), the uneducated, and the major political parties. Wait, what? the major political parties? No, you must mean the Democrats? Right? No. I blame the Democrats and the Republicans. No, not the political parties of old, but more so the political parties of current date which have molested and defiled the platforms which these parties once stood for. While I cannot completely blame the politicians for these horrific changes, the blame rests largely upon the uneducated voters and those who are swayed by more so by their eyes and not by their beliefs.
no, that was just something I wanted to express, poorly I might add.
The proper expression shall be created in due time.
2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
leM
10 points for me.
1 less reason to smile.
Predicting a woman will, well, be a woman is no massive achievement
Oddly enough, I find myself in a similar situation.
Only she has received my desired effect.
It grows old.
1 less reason to smile.
Predicting a woman will, well, be a woman is no massive achievement
Oddly enough, I find myself in a similar situation.
Only she has received my desired effect.
It grows old.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Ash Wednesday
Lent begins today and runs until Holy Saturday.
I find such holidays intriguing.
What to sacrifice this lent season?
The timing of this Catholic ritual is particularly attractive, seeing how I have been desiring experiments with the potential to better self.
While I do believe people rarely are capable of achieving genuine change, it is the allure of discovery which entices me.
The ever-illusive hypnagogic state is within my grasp, adieu.
*edit
I noticed this while scouring the internet for others beliefs, feelings, and opinions regarding lent. This statement grabbed my attention because I have always accepted Lent to be a time of scarifice and self restraint, not so much as a time for initiating new habits; truly bettering self.
"There's also the option of taking something on, maybe developing a good habit of doing something you don't do now that just requires a little time every day: stretching in the morning, sending a "thinking of you" message to people you've been out of touch with, cleaning out that ___ you've been avoiding."
"You should give up something you'll miss: television, your morning mocha, porn, whatever. The purpose of Lenten sacrifice is to bring one closer to God by identifying with Christ's suffering on the Cross. The difficulty of caffeine withdrawl, frustration at missing the next month of Lost, etc. should bring to mind Jesus' sacrifice; out of that, one should engage in prayer and reflection on the meaning of that sacrifice, that He died for our sins..
The Christian purpose of Lent isn't self-improvement, but improvement of one's relationship with God: take the money intended for that coffee and donate it to charity; spend your scheduled TV-/porn-watching time in prayer and meditation. Sacrifice that money, that time, that pleasure, and in doing so, reflect."
Both interesting. Bettering one's self via self denial/restraint. I do enjoy such processes. 40 days of Lent begins.
I find such holidays intriguing.
What to sacrifice this lent season?
The timing of this Catholic ritual is particularly attractive, seeing how I have been desiring experiments with the potential to better self.
While I do believe people rarely are capable of achieving genuine change, it is the allure of discovery which entices me.
The ever-illusive hypnagogic state is within my grasp, adieu.
*edit
I noticed this while scouring the internet for others beliefs, feelings, and opinions regarding lent. This statement grabbed my attention because I have always accepted Lent to be a time of scarifice and self restraint, not so much as a time for initiating new habits; truly bettering self.
"There's also the option of taking something on, maybe developing a good habit of doing something you don't do now that just requires a little time every day: stretching in the morning, sending a "thinking of you" message to people you've been out of touch with, cleaning out that ___ you've been avoiding."
"You should give up something you'll miss: television, your morning mocha, porn, whatever. The purpose of Lenten sacrifice is to bring one closer to God by identifying with Christ's suffering on the Cross. The difficulty of caffeine withdrawl, frustration at missing the next month of Lost, etc. should bring to mind Jesus' sacrifice; out of that, one should engage in prayer and reflection on the meaning of that sacrifice, that He died for our sins..
The Christian purpose of Lent isn't self-improvement, but improvement of one's relationship with God: take the money intended for that coffee and donate it to charity; spend your scheduled TV-/porn-watching time in prayer and meditation. Sacrifice that money, that time, that pleasure, and in doing so, reflect."
Both interesting. Bettering one's self via self denial/restraint. I do enjoy such processes. 40 days of Lent begins.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Friday, February 12, 2010
Lost in the snow
Friday originally was intended for studying.
Sleep a few hours late, wake up around 9 and hit the books.
Upon waking, I remember the abundance of paperwork demanding completion.
2 C-Sections on thursday and a transfer patient from Central State on Tuesday makes for thorough dictation.
All that aside, the heavens opened and spewed from their bowels white gold.
I found myself lost within the woods encompassing my property.
Peaceful, tranquil, halcyon.
Winter Olympics Opening Ceremonies commence tonight.
Somehow I do not believe they will not bear comparison to the Summer games.
Cold cold cold, and still studying to be done
Sleep a few hours late, wake up around 9 and hit the books.
Upon waking, I remember the abundance of paperwork demanding completion.
2 C-Sections on thursday and a transfer patient from Central State on Tuesday makes for thorough dictation.
All that aside, the heavens opened and spewed from their bowels white gold.
I found myself lost within the woods encompassing my property.
Peaceful, tranquil, halcyon.
Winter Olympics Opening Ceremonies commence tonight.
Somehow I do not believe they will not bear comparison to the Summer games.
Cold cold cold, and still studying to be done
Friday, February 5, 2010
Miike Snow
How long has it been, shall we get intimate again?
Excuse, our disgrace we've had no time to paint the place
The dog is always barking at the mailman
I won't waste your time with my revelation
Hello my friend, I see you're back again
Hello mystery, don't bother to explain
How bout maybe, its all been in my head
Hey well I'm tired of this black & blue, black & blue
My dear, come again, your voice is fading out and in
Out of the laundry bin, I found my innocence again
The dog is always barking at the mailman
I won't waste your time with my revelation
Hello my friend, I see you're back again
Hello mystery, don't bother to explain
How bout maybe, its all been in my head
Hey well I'm tired of this black & blue, black & blue
Hello my friend, I see you're back again
Hello mystery, don't bother to explain
How bout maybe, its all been in my head
Hey well I'm tired of this black & blue, black & blue
-Miike Snow "Black and Blue"
Cancer is contagious, i still believe. there is yet to be a definitive link; however, research has been showing an increased correspondence between major infectious disease and resulting cancer. Of course smoking is a direct precursor for lung and throat cancer. The same for alcohol and liver cancer. We as Americans will never cure cancer. Why? Because there is a seemingly endless amount of money to be made in treating cancer. Patients are will to pay any price for medicines which may or may not alleviate their suffering; so why stop an infinite money supply? When was the last time a disease has been cured? I have not done the research, but I do imagine we have cured something in recent years, more than likely some minor illness. Big business and pharmaceutical companies are bringing in the money hand over foot, in larger sums than the degenerate Middle Eastern nations who rape our wallets every time we put gas into our cars. Granted the idiotic desires of Americans to drive the biggest and fastest vehicles doesn't really aid the situation or my argument. But still. The government and major pharmaceutical companies are lying in bed together, and if there is a cure for major illnesses they are only shared between bedmates. When will we elect officials who will take a stand against these forces? Or has the case become, the only way for someone to receive a position of power they have to sell their soul to these powerful entities? Regardless of the case, something has to change. American has become too ignorant and comfortable. We have no identity; a conglomerance, a mutt. we want to cater to everyone' feelings, beliefs, and desires. We need to forge a national identity, and not one in which we all dance in response to the master's pull of the strings.
Friday, January 22, 2010
hope
Hope for Haiti? there is none.
Harsh?
No
Truthful?
Precisely
American can no longer overwhelm herself by "fixing" all the other problems of the world.
We allow anyone and anything into our boarders
And then we believe we must accommodate these masses
Is there any other country in the world which would ignore their heritage?
We, as a nation, are too consumed with pleasing each and every being within our boarders.
All men are not created equal. All women are not created equal.
Are some women equal to men. Are some men equal to women?
Yes and Yes.
Some people are born with the attributes allowing them to run multi-billion dollar corporations; to lead nations; and yet, some are born with the skill set to mop and flip burgers. While there are several levels between these two extremes, it only goes to further prove my thesis.
The individual best suited for a position should be the one to receive it.
However, the problem lies within those who decide who is "best"
Fix America.
not 2012, or 2016.
Fix America now.
Start with electing competent senators and representatives
Political parties are awful creations.
We must identify ourselves with a particular affiliation.
In doing so we give up our own unique thoughts, feelings, and beliefs.
There is no one within a political party who has the exact beliefs as their declared party.
Saying this I am guilty for now voting for the candidate who most closely represented my beliefs and desires; however, I did so only because I place the best interests of the Nation.
I weep for our future.
Harsh?
No
Truthful?
Precisely
American can no longer overwhelm herself by "fixing" all the other problems of the world.
We allow anyone and anything into our boarders
And then we believe we must accommodate these masses
Is there any other country in the world which would ignore their heritage?
We, as a nation, are too consumed with pleasing each and every being within our boarders.
All men are not created equal. All women are not created equal.
Are some women equal to men. Are some men equal to women?
Yes and Yes.
Some people are born with the attributes allowing them to run multi-billion dollar corporations; to lead nations; and yet, some are born with the skill set to mop and flip burgers. While there are several levels between these two extremes, it only goes to further prove my thesis.
The individual best suited for a position should be the one to receive it.
However, the problem lies within those who decide who is "best"
Fix America.
not 2012, or 2016.
Fix America now.
Start with electing competent senators and representatives
Political parties are awful creations.
We must identify ourselves with a particular affiliation.
In doing so we give up our own unique thoughts, feelings, and beliefs.
There is no one within a political party who has the exact beliefs as their declared party.
Saying this I am guilty for now voting for the candidate who most closely represented my beliefs and desires; however, I did so only because I place the best interests of the Nation.
I weep for our future.
Friday, January 15, 2010
The Process of Fertilization
I have such envy
For the stranger lying next to me
Who awakes in the night
And slips out into the pre-dawn light
With no words
A clean escape
No promises or messes made
And chalks it all up
To mistake, mistake, mistake
And there are no tears
Just pity and fear
And a vast ravine
Right in between
A storm at sea
The bow cracked
And I was capsizing
And I sunk below
Where I swore I would never go
If you can't stand in place
You can't tell who is walking away
From who remains
Who stays, who stays, who stays
For the stranger lying next to me
Who awakes in the night
And slips out into the pre-dawn light
With no words
A clean escape
No promises or messes made
And chalks it all up
To mistake, mistake, mistake
And there are no tears
Just pity and fear
And a vast ravine
Right in between
A storm at sea
The bow cracked
And I was capsizing
And I sunk below
Where I swore I would never go
If you can't stand in place
You can't tell who is walking away
From who remains
Who stays, who stays, who stays
Friday, January 8, 2010
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