In the future you will see less stories about Caitlin
option selected on facebook
no sense in slamming the door in other girls faces while i constantly knock at one that will not open
Your loss or mine
From what I hear I am not losing out on anything special
Doesn't mean I believe it or feel that way
You know my thoughts and my feelings
I hope he makes you happy
Or it makes you happy
It is what you deserve
I have my books and France for the saving, lol
I could care less about that
As you hesitate to communicate I will not hesitate to answer
College is a time to do whatever, so do just that
And when it's all over with I will be here
I have no desire for any relationshit, I mean relationships
A time of quick fixes to cover my true feelings shall suffice
I know who you really are, and the person I fell in love with
Whether or not that person still exists after is it over and said, You still will have my heart
There was a chance to salvage something and I blew it due to my relationship with my father
I acknowledge and accept that fact
You say you have already come to terms with it all and has put it behind you
Congrats for doing so, I guess it helps when you go to a college full of guys
Even if that weren't the case you are beautiful and any guy who wasn't half drunk would notice
Only a matter of time I guess
But I have let go, started a new chapter
Whew, thank God, about time
things that might be going through your head,
And if they are then I'm glad things turned out the way they did
for you would have changed for the worse
Which would be something you said would never happen
My fault for believing
If that's not the case then you are a better person than I for controlling your emotions
But I do not believe that is the case
Like you've told me you've just stopped caring
Same with James and I can only imagine the numbers of others
I guess I still refuse to believe that is a characteristic of you
And I noticed the drawings you post
They are absolutely stunning
Just so you know
Take all this how you want
But I'm pretty sure you'll read this and give a slight smirk, then go about your business
Trust me my hopes are not up
I just have to get this all said
And now I have
So if we don't ever talk again, have a great life, and I will never forget that summer we spent together or each and every experience we shared. You are truly an amazing woman.
May <3
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
In the future you'll be happier without me.
Your loss equal to mine; that there is no loss equally.
Gained freedom in the least.
I'm glad your sources think so highly of me. They are probably right, believe them - things will be "easier." But I don't know your thoughts and feelings - I don't necessarily care to; probably the reason I can move on so easily. Shut it out, move on. Reboot.
For the record - He does make me happy. I'm glad you believe that I deserve it. I hope its what you wanted. I hope thats what you wanted to hear. I hope that makes it more enjoyable for you. I hope you are jealous, and ill, and want to burst with emotion. I hope it makes you move, makes you itch.
I have no hesitation in communication.
Its a simple decision to not respond; to not initiate the conversation.
I'm also glad I have your approval to live my life as I choose. I would have anyway - you know that, I suppose. You will be there - no doubt, the same.
Its nice to hear the you know the real me - except I couldn't imagine how, when I don't talk to you. Nor do I know; I only guess day to day. I'm glad you think I am still the person you fell in love with, except I have changed and grown so much since then.I only try to improve upon myself from the day before. Perhaps you shouldn't leave your heart so open to be crushed - For it seams I am working toward the end result.
As for the chance to salvage - on a whim, I don't think there would be anything - not ever. I would say that your relationship with your father is irrelevant, but its probably one of the few points I agree with. Fix it - for yourself, not for anyone else.
As for what I have come to terms with, I am not sure, please inform me.
And as for the "college full of guys" - Who cares? Its ridiculous; I'm livid at your excuse to justify my actions with a ratio.
FYI: None of these thoughts have passed through my mind, none of which will. Especially the "God" one - you know where I stand with this issue. Good to hear you are moving on, but with the contradictions and inconsistencies in your writing, I don't believe it. I don't quite understand what you mean by "for the worse." No one can really define "the worst." But I don't think that is the situation with me.
So this next part is really great; makes me a great person for all of your readers to see. I've "just stopped caring;" exactly what has happened (note the incredible amounts of sarcasm scattered throughout my response). "Same with James..." I'm glad you were a part of the relationship James and I had. I don't think I could tell you the half of it and understand. It was nothing like what you and I experienced. I may have said, "Yeah, I just stopped caring," but I have come to learn a better diction, a better way to express what that really means. As for the countless numbers of others... I'm glad you finally confessed to me how you really view my dating habits. I'm sorry that there were so many before you. I'm not certain how many more there will be, but with remarks like these, I know for certain that you are not earning a warm spot in my heart.
I have no concept of negative emotion, I do not worry, I do not stress, I do not let the little things that I can not change bother me or slow me down. I will not let your words ruin my day. The sun is still shining and I am still breathing. I still have crew and all the girls involved. I still have the friends I've made on my hall, and I still have the feelings he has created within me. I still have me. I still have me.
Its nice to see that you tried to compensate with this little ending you threw on... Its nice to know you feel that way. I'm sorry that it didn't work and that your slight smirk is the same as my "fuck you." But I mean it. This was ridiculous, inane...
We probably won't talk again - for a long, long time. Which is how it always works, but I don't know if you ever got that far in my story...
Please help me to understand.
It is what it is
For some reason all of this has helped me let go completely
I still sought a friendship
But it was not to be
Honestly i am not too bummed about it all
Your decision
Your loss
Turned into you
No, not completely
But you have helped
Thank you
And goodbye if this is goodbye
Post a Comment