is down and out
something has got to be wrong with me
I think i should seek help
I can no long tolerate my mental/emotional status
In a crowded busy room, everything around me is a blur as I sit, completely lost in my own thoughts
I listen for a voice but hear none
alone
silent
constantly going from extreme to the next
always seeming to remain at the lowest point for extended durations
This cannot be all that life has to offer
I was not made for this
I hate this
If only I could escape my thoughts
And find refuge in the delusion I used to live with you
While your role is open to auditions,
Few show to fill the part
But none ever stay to make an attempt
There has got to more to life than this
I no longer expect joy to occur the following day
I don't want sex, I don't want hook ups
I want peace of mind
I want someone
Add another to the list
Pretend to shake it off and continue
Only the truth is I can't
I need uppers
Because these downs are getting to be unbearable
White flag
I call it quits
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
12 comments:
no one stays because you act like you do not want them to. maybe if you told them how you feel and actually put yourself out there, you might get somewhere. i'm sorry that you are so down and i truly hope it gets better for you. and i wish i could help you.
anonymous why the hidden name
almost felt like we had a connection going there
but i must say, you are right
the act i portray is a farce
a defense one could call it
the explanation as to why I do not put myself out there is, the females I am interested in aren't really feeling the same
Either they are wrapped up in some guy who treats them like crap, or they are off in college and I don't do well with people away
blah, idk
I appreciate the sympathy, advice, and concern
hit me back anonymous
you were at the picnic table, in the woods, right next to the vintage dress shop. as I walked out, I saw you with some friends [some mutual, some not] and you all were tripping like crazy. I was stoked to see him, to join in your little adventure and see what it was like for you. I sat down right in front of you at the table and immediately you told me to leave. We started arguing, with you telling me how pretentious I was and with me telling you to shut the fuck up. As I was yelling at you, you kept getting closer to my face until you kissed me....
i remain anonymous because i do not think you would listen if you knew who i actually was, since in the past you have shown no interest in me when i have shown it towards you. i think that it is hard for someone to stick around when they feel they are not wanted. and the act that you portray is very off putting. maybe you should stop wasting your time with the females who show no concern for you and your feelings and focus on the girls who do.
p.s. if only our connection could have been real. and i do feel for you and wish that you were not so down.
ok that comment after mine is obviously different from the other anonymous ones. From what I can deduce the writing resembles that of one out of high school and in early college. I don't hang out in the woods nor near faggy dress shops. But you already know that and you already know that I like to play games hence the comment. Your writings resemble that of Dallas', regardless, when you come to your senses, I shall be where I always am. And I don't trip. It is idiotic and pointless. try again.
For the next comment, and the original anonymous, why would you not tell me who you are. Granted I am not ignorant nor stupid, and the more i reread your comments I begin to eliminate more and more possible beings. And the whole idea of you not telling me who you are is completely the opposite of what you were telling me to do, to put myself out there and tell people how i feel towards them. Flawed logic my unknown friend. There really has only been one person that I have shot down in a harsh mannerism as you depict, so the potential authors behind anonymous are, shall i say, slim pickings.
And since I know you will not come forth with your identity I shall take your advice. i like an incredibly small number of females. Those whom I have feelings for are greatly smaller. here's the list: Caitlin, Candice, Sandi. All of which never evolve into anything.
There, your advice has been put to use.
since i am not on the list just posted i think i'll stay anonymous for now. seeing as i have put myself out there before i feel that there is no need for me to do that again. now advice time: if things do not evolve, then move on. i know what it is like to feel for somebody and for nothing to work out. i also know that this cycle makes things worse. i just think that it would be best to move on from them and look elsewhere for the "peace" you want/need.
in my case it was not a harsh letdown so much as a litany of excuses.
so take this advice anyway you please knowing that i hope you can move on to better things and find what you need in the person choose, no matter who it is.
Maybe I just wanted a friend
but you have friends... are they just not what you need?
you said litany of excuses
perhaps I just wanted a friend
and maybe I wasn't an open ass at the time
So instead of being mean and saying i just wanted to be friends b/c, well, everyone says that, i just made excuses
excuses are worse than the truth, but hey just my opinion. i know personally that i would rather have the truth. i've been lied to so many times that i value truth even if its "mean". and being friends is not something horrible. maybe the people that get turned down would like a friend too.
truth is, i don't know who you are
and I'm starting to find this conversation pointless and losing it's appeal
and dreams do come true my friend, if only for one night...
anytime that is your wish, you know where to find me...
Post a Comment