may 3

My smile was taken long ago
If I can change i hope I never know

Great weekend in the boro with great people
Bobby has some tight roommates/friends
Very chill and accepting people
Too bad I have already been accepted to the nursing program at macon state for the fall semester
I honestly did not want to leave
I actually was able to spend the entire weekend without getting entirely consumed by my thoughts
Oh how I despise the overwhelming emotions
Now with my full summer load and fall endeavors, well, let's just say I don't expect for things to pick up
Emotionally and relationship wise
I can act like I don't care
I can say that I sleep with ease at night
I can say that I am not jealous of happy couples
And that I don't miss it
I can say it brings me joy to be able to spend my money all myself
I can say L-O-V-E is just another word I never learned to pronounce
But it's all a lie
fuck that she's right
The thing is, I don't miss her, I miss the delusion in which I lived
I miss being able to completely trust another
I miss the relationship
Yes you can have a relationship with anyone, I just can seem to find that anyone
Opportunities present themselves, however the door slams shut abruptly
Time after time
I honestly don't know what is wrong with me
Fuck, I sound like an emo song
Now I guess I'll have to talk about my fresh burns...
SO many questions
All of which no distinct answer will ever be known
fml





fml