New Word

"I still don't see what you ever saw in her"
even in the state i was in when i was told this, it still puzzled me
I have never been told that, ever
I could not come up with any sort of reply
As we drove I just sat there
The inevitable dream which would follow after passing out, was nothing special
that is, it was the same reoccurring I have come accustomed to
And by now they do not impact me as hard as they once have
I no longer dream or hope for things I wish to transpire
And while I would of thoroughly enjoyed spending the weekend in boro with bobby, I must say this weekend kicked ass
from the onset of thursday night, all the way to sunday night
it was a damn good week
I even was able to hang with Sandi on sunday afternoon and revisit times of old
I always enjoy my time spent with her
She will not be back until the summer
And speaking of summer, I am not sure I am looking forward to it
Although I have lost friendships between others this semester, they really have not made me sad, but i will miss a dear friend of mine during the summer while he is off kicking ass in paris island
Yes there will be a few others to hang with, but it just will not be the same,
And yes people will be back from college, but that does not mean anything. Bobby has been back from Southern for a while now, and we don't really hang anymore than we did when he was down there
i know he is busy and he will always be a dear friend so i am not worried about that, i was just giving an example
I will be taking 16hrs of classes this summer, working, and playing softball, so i prob won't have a lot of time for much of anything else
Which I guess will be a good thing
because I am not looking forward to everyone who will be back in town from college...
the beat goes on, as well as time
each day we get older, and all that good stuff
i am ready to get old, and to die
No there is no other life, no fancy club for those who have been good
just the end of the line, the last exit on the highway of life

Working tonight, class all night tues and thurs, which will cause me to miss my softball games sad sad sad sad face. I'm going to catch a play wed night, I do enjoy going to see them. I'll have to ask around and find someone to accompany me. I expect to spend the majority of the weekend with the lab partner preparing for out lab final in a week. she might have to retake the class this summer, and i might join her, just so I can make an A. I believe I will just be short of making Dean's List his semester, my projected GPA for the Spring Semester should be 3.4. That one C will hurt me. sad face.

Life is good for the moment, i do find myself wanting more at times. I almost think I want a relationship, but then I curtail my ambitions and remember what they entail. something I do not care for, a thing called emotions and trust. And then I remember how selfish I have become, and then I realize how glad i am to have the friends i do who can put up with my assholeness.